Newbies

I recall on this forum some funny drills suggested to confuse newbies on a sailboat, i.e. running around the boat all of sudden and saying strange things only to surprise and confuse people who have never been on a sailboat.

I have some newbies this year, so I want to make the trip more than entertaining for me and them. Anyone have some rituals to suggest?

If you're heading to Norman, telling them to look over the side at the painted line separating the USVI from the BVI is always fun.

If there's no wind send someone below for the fan to blow in the sails... :-)

Are we talking newbies or clueless?? <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/duh.gif" alt="" />

I really enjoyed watching everyone's faces when I'd steer the boat directly into the odor cloud while the holding tanks got opened after leaving harbor. It worked beautifully the first two or three times before they caught on that I was doing it on purpose! The looks on the girls' faces were priceless. <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Grin.gif" alt="" />

We made up names for different parts. There were some chrome hand holds we had fun with. Some were 180 degrees and others were 90. We dubbed them a half nipple and quarter nipple. They'd been hearing me make fun of names like wench and vang boom, so the nipple didn't raise an eyebrow. At the end of the trip, one of the ladies made reference to grabbing the quarter nipple and the rest of us just died laughing.

Stop into your local auto parts store and pick up a rubber brake pedal cover. A little silicone adhesive will hold it in place and not leave any marks. Attach it in the helm area and tell them NOT to step on, it's the brake.

Tell them the boat feels a little sluggish. Ask one of them to find the prop wash.

Bring along a Bosuns chair for a grouchy guest and when your at the Bight grab a mooring near the Willy T tell him it's a safety harness and you're going to demonstrate its use then hook him up to the main halyard and bring him up to the spreaders and tie him off while everyone has Happy hour at the T
Oh! Send someone back to pick him up <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" />Tell them that the helm is a little sluggish and could one of them go below and find the relative bearing oil.

Thanks, everyone. These are great. These newbies have never been on a yacht or any type of cruise, so I am planning on having lots of fun with them? We will find out how clueless they are.

This one is a little more elaborate, but visualize the process. Get one of your crew to help "calibrate" the radar. Wrap most of their body, arms and legs with aluminum foil (an aluminum foil hat is a nice touch) and give 'em a handheld VHF. Send them to a dock or levee and have them wave their arms and move around via commands on the VHF.

So far it looks like you're the winner <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Clapping.gif" alt="" />

"Calibrating the radar.... " old Lord, this could be trouble on our next trip! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Clapping.gif" alt="" />

Muwahahahahahaha! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/pirate.gif" alt="" />

I want to buy drinks <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Clapping.gif" alt="" /> for the Radar calibrator this person can have a free cabin anytime. <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/toast.gif" alt="" />

Re calibrating the radar

OMG, I have tears <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Yikes.gif" alt="" />coming down my face reading this for the third time!!

Can't wait to try this on my next trip in June! Already have foil on the packing list now. Only big question is who to pick as the victim! I better watch my back afterwards...but she may never catch on if we stand off the pier far enough! <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/jester.gif" alt="" />

Deadliest Catch Tuning the Radar

Hi

Congratulations on the bucket of “prop wash”, the “relative bearing oil”/grease and “calibrate the radar”. I can think of lots of others (involving looking in the tool box, etc, or going to a ship’s store) : a binnacle alignment tool, the old left handed screwdriver/monkey wrench gag, green oil for the starboard lamp (or red oil for the port lamp), the famous “sky hook”, a mast crank (for going under a low bridge), a shore line stretcher, a can of elbow grease, a waterline eraser, a key to the chain locker, a bulk head straightener or a metric crescent wrench/screw driver.

Of course a lot of them are old Navy jokes : standing the “Mail Buoy watch” (back when mail was delivered from another ship), getting 3 feet of gig line (or water line), or a tuning pipe for the fog horn. The things that people do out of boredom and out of sight of land!

I’ve been on the other end of (or seen the equivalent) of several of the Air Force equivalents, e.g. 10 more feet of flight line.

Peace
Dugg & Chris
Our VI pics are at http://picasaweb.google.com/papadugg/ - haven’t started on our ‘14 pics for Picasa. Having trouble getting ‘13 on the site

Thanks for posting this link. I haven't seen it before. I read about the prank somewhere. You've got to admit that it is an epic scam.

I remember having to get the "smoke shifter" at my first Boy Scout camp out. I spent half an hour running around the woods looking for the damn thing. All good fun!

My suggestion is super simple and always works...once trimmed on a relatively calm beam/broad reach convince your first "uninformed" newbie to take the helm and focus only on the headsail tell-tales for steerage(after you've secretly set the autopilot) then send everyone else down the companion-way to prepare snacks...listen carefully for the WTF's coming from your new first mate's lips. <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/duh.gif" alt="" />