It's so hard to find the right people to charter with. My husband took the learn to sail courses in Florida several years ago after we went on a charter as guests. We then bought a sailboat on our lake in Texas.
One option is for you two to take the learn to sail course together in the BVI (not totally a "vacation", but kinda).

We need a match.com for charters. There has to be more people like us that want to go, but can't fill a boat with people we already know. You definitely want to make sure you are matched with like minded folks, as it could be a nightmare with the wrong crew for you!