Our favorite resort is in the Playacar gated community just a few minutes south of Playa Del Carmon, on the Yucatan - the Iberostar Tucan. An AI resort in a gorgeous jungle setting (complete with a variety of animals including monkees) situated on a beautiful, clean beach. The staff is excellent, and their kids program is amazing. After entertaining the kids all day they have the kids entertain you at night before the main show. We're a couple, and although this is a family resort we love it there. Can't recommend it enough for you, take a look at the reviews on tripadvisor, and you can see pics and videos on this site.
You fly into Cancun which s an easy flight from most parts of the US, and it's a 50 minute transfer to the resort but worth it. And if you'd like more to do the prime excursion spots are nearby, and PDC offers shopping.
Just a thought - I love Tortola and the BVI, but the other part of our time is spent here.
If you look at a cruise be sure to research well as a cruise is very different than a land-based vacation. We cruise too, but you really need to select the right ship and the best itinerary for your family. Carnival has an exceptional kids program, as does Disney of course. But the adults need to enjoy them selves as well!
Edit - here's the Tucan link -
http://www.ib-board.com/boards/index.php?PHPSESSID=03n5adool1h6nihq743vgg91c4
