We stayed at Caliente Resort in Land O Lakes, Florida for 4 days last week (April 19-22). This just happened to also be Caliente’s 3rd birthday and there were lots of activities going on at the resort.

In summary, if you don’t want to read any further, we highly recommend a visit to Caliente at least once before you die. It is an unbelievable experience.

Now for the details: Caliente is probably the most luxurious nudist resort on the planet. There are two hot tubs, two heated conversation pools and a large unheated swimming pool with waterfall. All pools are nude only and everyone is nude throughout the amenities areas. Throughout the entire resort people are walking, biking, rollerblading, etc in the nude. The restaurants are also clothing optional if you wish. Just remember to bring a towel to sit on.

The resort grounds are clean, manicured and there are plenty of chairs to lounge in during the warm and sunny days, except on the weekends when things will get more crowded than during the week. But as long as you arrive before noon you will have no problem getting a nice place to lounge by the water, even on the weekends. There is also a small beach if you are so inclined, but no one really used the beach except to walk there and admire the lake.

Drinks are served by hostesses who are always around to take your orders. Food can be brought to your chair if you request a sandwich from them. Everything is made easy and available for Caliente’s guests. Drink prices are about $6-$7 for a pina colada, bloody mary or something on that order. Beers are less of course. Lunches around the pool are about $7-$9 and you can also eat at the Cantina Calypso for some relief from the sun, with the same menu.

If you do not settle your bar bill at the end of the day an automatic 18% gratuity is added to your bill and the bill is closed automatically. If you want to settle the bill yourself then you can determine the amount of any gratuity. No food or drinks (coolers, etc.) are to be brought into the pool or amenity areas from the outside. Everything must be purchased from the resort. The only exception is water which can be brought in, but there are ice machines and water is available with cups near the pools so why bother.

Breakfast is available at the resort Café Ole at a reasonable price and serving begins at 8 am. Not many people get up that early so you will have a quiet breakfast and then wander leisurely down to the pool area to pick your chair for the day. Chairs cannot be reserved ahead of time so just find a location and enjoy the day. Again, guests tend to party very late so not many people arrive before about 11 am, when the bars start to open so there is no rush to find a place to lounge for the day.

There are very few, if any, children at the resort. One couple we met who has visited over 35 nudist resorts throughout the US said that this resort is not really kid friendly but tailored toward an adult crowd. That said, the upper conversation pool and all the hot tubs are off limits to any children at any time, as is the night club after 9 pm.

There are many activities at the resort including beach volleyball, petanque (boche ball), water volleyball, aerobics, tennis, medication sessions, a fully staffed professional spa, a weight room, complimentary bikes to ride, and a couple miles of paved hiking/biking trails around the lakes.

We stayed in a room at the resort, as opposed to a casita, villa or whatever. The rooms would be rated 2.5 stars, in our opinion. The rooms are clean, contain a king size bed, refrigerator, microwave, screened in porch and a mirror over the bed. Our unit supposedly was the room that Paris Hilton stayed in when she visited the resort, according to our waitress at the night club.

All of your purchases at the resort are signed for and charged to your room. No currency is allowed within the resort. At checkout all of your receipts are available for your review.

On Saturday there is an ongoing fashion show throughout the pool areas. Two businesses have their fashions paraded through the sunbathers nearly all day by friendly models. The fashions are very nice and can be purchased from either the Caliente boutique or Under the Sun. Steve thought this was a nice way to shop.

On Friday at 5 pm there is a get acquainted happy hour with half price drinks. This is a weekly gathering that is very well attended. As usual, no attire is necessary!

There are two restaurants where you can eat dinner at the resort. The Calypso Cantina serves light meals and Café Ole offers more substantial food (and prices to go with it) and reservations are recommended. There is also a nice piano bar in the Clubhouse for a quieter atmosphere.

As the name implies, Caliente really gets hot when the sun goes down. After dinner a visit to the night club is something you will never forget.

Thursday nights is ladies night and ladies drink for free. Visitors from the other Pasco County nude resorts tend to come to Caliente this night to have fun and of course enjoy the free drinks. Caliente will have a DJ this night and the music ranges from 60’s, 70’s up to and including current music. So you get a full spectrum of sound to listen and dance to.

Friday nights you start to get the weekend visitors from around Florida as well as out of town visitors. Everyone is here to party so the atmosphere is very lively. Saturday night is the premier party night with the dancing and fun lasting well into the small hours of the morning.

So what did we think about all this? We have only been to Club Orient on Orient Beach so this was all new to us. We were intimidated at first because we knew no one and knew nothing about the resort, other than what we read online. Carole and Eric (TTOL) had given us some information as well so that helped. But we still had little idea of what to really expect. Arriving late in the evening, after dinner on Thursday, we decided to visit the night club. But what, if anything, should we wear? Maria decided to wear a see-through top with a pareo skirt. Steve wore shorts and a t-shirt. Yes, this is a nudist resort but would people really be nude at night, we wondered.

It was Thursday night and the dance floor was crowded. We ordered drinks from the bar and sat next to the dance floor to watch the activities. People were actually dressed - well sort of. Caliente appeared to us as a place where the women dress or don’t dress how they like – the more risqué the better. The guys tend to wear shorts but some are nude, as are some of the women. Topless is also very common. But for the most part it is an erotic clothing festival for the senses.

If you have been to a Baywatch party on St. Martin’s Orient Beach then you have a slight flavor of what to expect in terms of clothing. But nothing can compare to this nighttime extravaganza at Caliente. Wow, we were amazed at the creativity all around us.

The dancing was also very hot. There were even dancers that were probably professional exotic dancers out on the floor. They were pretty easy to spot, at least from Steve’s limited (!) experience… What an experience this was! Steve commented that certain guys would pay really good money for this kind of entertainment but here no money was being tossed out onto the floor.

We met some nice people from all over the US just sitting around the dance floor, watching all of the activities. Before we knew it, the clock was edging toward midnight and it was time to leave, well before the party would wind down.

On Friday night things at the night club started a bit later but were just as hot. The clothing changed from Thursday night but was just as exotic and erotic or even more so. Saturday’s dress or undress was also just as great. The weekend really comes alive on the dance floor at Caliente!

Ok, so someone is going to ask about lifestylers or swingers or whatever they are called, among the nudists at Caliente. We were never approached or saw any overt display of this activity. None. Who knows what that means but everything was very relaxed at Caliente with no obvious display or any activity that is not permitted at the resort. Everyone just seemed to be enjoying themselves and the night.

Someone had posted previously about the lack of friendliness regarding the members and residents of the resort, as opposed to the visitors at the resort. The members and residents seem to have their circle of friends that they like being with. It is not difficult to talk with members of the resort or residents of the resort but they do not seem overly friendly toward guests of the resort. After all, this is not Club Orient where everyone is a visitor and there are no members, so to speak, so the same attitude at Caliente would not be expected. However, the guests at the resort tended to easily make friends with other guests more easily than with the members or residents. If you are looking to make long term friends then it would be easiest to become a member or resident of the resort and become part of the long time community at Caliente in order to establish better long term ties.

Sunday dawned clear, warm and sunny for our final day at Caliente. The pools were very active and there was a very good crowd for the final day of the 3 day birthday celebration. At checkout everything was smooth and efficient and took no time at all. All of our resort charges were itemized on the final bill. Check out time is 11 AM.

Hope you enjoyed the report.