When we ran our crewed charter boat in the BVI (a hundred years ago), we did our best to adapt to the desires of our guests.

If they wanted a lot of crew interaction, then we obliged. If they wanted private time, we disappeared. The crew has planned/budgeted for all of their meals (unless otherwise agreed to), so don't feel obligated to invite them if you choose to go out. (Usually we were asked to join our guests for one dinner ashore in a week's charter.)

I would NEVER let a guest operate our dinghy. Too much liability, too many downsides with no upsides. However, we carried a sunfish sailboat and a windsurfer with us, that our guests could take anywhere they pleased.

Cell phones make immediate communication possible, so wherever you are the crew can meet your needs.

Communicate with your potential crew in advance, and be on guard for any red flags. You will know when you make a good connection!

Have fun!