The things we do to get to our favorite island, it took us 23 hours to get from our door to the door of Le Petit Hotel. This was due to not trusting United Airlines to make a tight connection in Chicago for our flight to San Juan, so we opted to fly on a red-eye and spend eight wonderful hours in the Red Carpet Club at O’Hare. As luck would have it, every flight was on time and Michael from Unity met us at Juliana Airport at 10:30 pm with just what we wanted, a beat up jeep (sorry Michael, but it was perfect for us). We were on our way.
No extra luggage for us, just carry-on for two wonderful weeks. Please don’t think of us as T-shirts and shorts people though, as you will see when we post the pictures. I assure you, you can cover all dress codes on the island with out taking everything apart from the kitchen sink. Also, this report does not cover menus, how people are doing, state affairs, who is open and who is not, what is best and worst and all that other stuff. It just shows you how much fun you can have on St. Martin, that is if you like this kind of thing. Actually we love it!!
So, it was 4 nights at Le Petit Hotel in Grand Case, 7 at Oyster Pond Beach Resort and 2 at Mary’s Boon.
Let’s cover the hotel scene first. We loved Le Petit and Sam (one of many Sam’s on the island) was great, the room was terrific, the view fantastic and the bed out of this world. First time in month’s we slept over 8 hours, especially for the first three nights. That was until Kris and George arrived and it was party time with not much time to sleep. Oyster Bay Beach Club (OBBC) was fine, especially since we just use it as a base from which to launch our escapades. We were given a two bedroom with a view overlooking the ocean and swimming pool (which the girls could not use as they both did not bring any tops). We never visited the restaurant at OBBC, only the fitness center to sweat out the beer and/or rum, and the laundry room to freshen up the T’s. Mary’s Boon was Mary’s Boon, if you have not stayed there, please do. It is true, it is a legend on St. Maarten and we regret not staying there before. We were given extremely good service for the short time we were there and we loved the honor bar idea. (Good job George had left by then.) Unfortunately the 200 plus baby turtles did not leave during our stay but I’m sure the people on a 24-hour turtle watch will have a video for all to see.
Wednesday was spent hanging out and waiting for the clouds to disappear, so after some lovely croissants and coffee, compliments of Le Petit, we headed in to Marigot with Cheri being the optimist and taking the windows out of the jeep and rolling back the roof (which I may add were never put back in or the top rolled up, sorry again, Michael). First stop Le Gout du Vin for wine tasting and purchasing, what a wonderful shop. Then we spotted a great outfit for Cheri in Skorzo, straight from Paris. Wow!! I had to buy it.
The clouds were passing fast so we sped back to Grand Case and walked up the beach to L’Amandier, plonked ourselves on their beach chairs and had our first drink while watching the local boat race and party.
Our first dinner is always at Le Planteur in Oyster Pond and as always Gerard was so pleased to see us again (I’m not so sure he was on our second visit, but that’s another story). To us, this restaurant is in our top 3 and I’m not going to say which spot it holds so we don’t upset the other two.
Thursday the sun was out and it was Orient Beach time. After meeting Karl (the oldest beach boy we know) our spot was Kon Tiki. Can’t tell you how good his service was but if you go, just mention our name and see if he treats you the same. The highlight of the day was Cheri getting “form fitted” for 3 new G-strings bottoms, and I do mean string (not much fabric there Luiz). I asked if I could be his assistant for the week but he told me I would not be professional enough. I wonder how he got that idea? Got to admit, it’s not everyday one sees his wife having her G-string pulled off and another one put on by a complete stranger. After three visits during the stay I got used to it and I think Cheri did too. Great job on the suits by Luiz and Cheri came away with four bottoms and even a top, one she can wear when we go away to more “formal” areas.
Dinner was at Le Village in Marigot where we found out our good friend Sam, the owner, was coming back from France in one week. He owns another restaurant in Nancy, France called Hemingways. That night we encountered our first “American tourists”, who decided to play cards at the table right, behind us. Now here you are in a very romantic setting along the Marigot marina, a beautiful night, great ambiance and this couple decide to shuffle cards as though they were in a Maverick movie. A polite “can you shuffle quieter” was met with “a little testy tonight aren’t we” which I replied a little harsher, “if we want to hear a card game we will go to Vegas” (we never go to casinos on the island but do visit Vegas by the way). I think they finally realized it’s much better to look at the French kings and queens passing by than what was on their table.
Friday the fun started, we waited for Kris and George’s arrival at The Sunset Beach Bar (SSBB). George arrived from South Africa (he is Kris’s love boat doctor and ours now too). She met him on a cruise ship (he is the ship’s doctor) a few years back and invited him along. I’m not sure he knew what he was in for but he soon realized and I quote “I knew we were in for a good time when Cheri, bare breasted, came bouncing towards me and gave me a big hug”. A few hours later (after many free drinks for Cheri and Kris and tons of pictures) they found another recruit to the “Topless Women Drink For Free” crowd. Afterwards we headed for dinner at Le Cottage in Grand Case, another restaurant in our top 3, for service and food quality.
To keep things running smoothly, we decided to each own a day where we got to select the activities. Who knew we’d all have the same ideas?
Saturday was moving day, tough to do with a slight hangover but the staff at OBBC seemed to take that into consideration and allowed us to move in early. One would think we were at Club O because no clothes were worn whilst we were there. Kris was spotted by people walking to the pool, while wafting the smoke alarm to shut if off when George had forgot to put the fan on above the stove. Word must have spread because when everybody walked by our unit (no pun intended) their heads were held high as if to check out the clouds. We were on the 3rd floor.
After packing and unpacking for the second time, the clouds were with us again, so what else to do on a cloudy day but let the ladies do some shopping, tour the island and have a drink.
Well if we thought Friday was a party day, Saturday was even better. Somehow we landed at SSBB again. It was only going to be a quick pit stop, but just as the girls were about to put their shirts on they were asked (pleaded) to stay by a lovely young girl who cried I don’t want to drink for free on my own. And so the party began. Keri and fiancé Marc joined our party and kept it going through two more restaurants and one swimming pool.
With the tourist crowd gathering at SSBB and remembering Neil’s agreement that topless women can drink for free at The Buccaneer, we all piled in our jeep and took off to give Neil a nice surprise. After eating a tremendous teriyaki chicken burger and shocking a few Pelican Resort customers as they drove by, Neil showed us his new fun idea for crazy patrons. An outline of a women lying on his bar! The lady climbs up, he pours Tequila in the belly button, stuffs a lime in the mouth and sprinkles salt on each boob for a very special Body Shot. Before the girls took their turns I bought them 3 nice Buccaneer thongs as they had all gone commando and we thought it a little too much for our first visit. We didn’t want to give Neil a heart attack. (Black one for Kris, red for Cheri and white for Keri.) Everybody did “The Shot” with their significant other and then it was time for Cheri on Kris, then Keri on Cheri and then Cheri and Keri BOTH on Kris. Well of course the batteries ran out on nearly all our digital cameras and the videos that night.
After all of this activity, including a few dips in the sea to cool off, we were hungry again and despite our condition we were smart enough to all agree to get back to Oyster Pond for a reasonable dinner. We stopped by Keri and Marc’s hotel for them to smarten up and then headed off to Le Planteur. By 9:30 Gerard was ready to close, I think, but he stayed open for us and we had the place to ourselves. His cooking was superb once again, the wine was flowing and to help us on to our next adventure, he brought out his special rum, compliments of the house. A few years back we came across the pool in Captain Oliver’s and did a little skinny-dipping and photography, so we decided to creep down like little teenagers and do it again. Kris was the photographer this time and the results will be shown. We were crying with laughter as we all “squared up” at the glass. I classified this as Tony’s day.
Keri and Marc departed at around 4:00 am after a couple of hours on our pull out couch for the ferry to Anguilla, not sure if they made it or not, we haven’t heard from them since.
Naturally, Sunday was a “rest day” and we took off to Orient Beach, Karl escorted us to our chairs at Kon Tiki and Cheryl at Baywatch helped us recover with a very late breakfast and some strong coffee. A nap, a swim and a couple of walks up and down the beach got us feeling a little better so Karl was happy when we started ordering, which gave him something to do. His special on the house rum concoctions at the end of the day hit the spot. Since we didn’t feel like getting all dressed up for dinner, there was only one place to go … The Talk of the Town. “Moma” has had a stroke and word is the government has taken over so it’s a little fancier but still just as good as ever.
Monday we were on a mission around Oyster Pond and Marigot for a boat, but I think all the captains had had a rough weekend too. We finally hooked up with Sam (yes, another Sam) and after much deliberation on my part whether to take a fast boat or catamaran we decided to go the catamaran way and reserved a full day and sunset sailing for Wednesday. After a couple of beers at Le Village we decided to pick up Cheri’s specially made thongs from Luiz and get Kris form fitted. This was George’s Day and he wanted to “free willy” (go nude) on the Club O beach. We made it just in time for final call at The Perch for Happy Hour, maybe we could have had a couple, but the service was so slow. A late afternoon storm drove us inside at Papagayos where we met up with old friends Bennie and Andrea. The rain went as quick as it came and George still had not seen a real St. Martin sunset so it was off to The Grand Case Beach Club. The only problem was that the girls were only wearing mesh cover-ups and little G-strings. But after a few rum and cokes, who cares?!? Besides, we figured there wouldn’t be anybody there. Wrong! We arrived only to find it was GCBC’s fine cheese and wine tasting night. By the time we realized what was going on it was too late to turn back so as we walked through all the guests we could feel the nudges, winks and hear “did you see those girls?” Ordering two bottles of very nice wine and some great appetizers got our waiter and waitress on the right track and they even helped with the picture taking. George got to see a reasonable sunset and the rest of the customers got a view they did not anticipate.
There was only one cruise ship in on Tuesday and we were feeling a little burnt so it was up early, a long walk around the top of Dawn Beach and off shopping. We nearly bought a house after a nice talk with an owner on the hill, but that thought was gone by the time we reached the beach for a nice cool down. We apologized to a couple of cruise shippers for our nude swim and to Scavanger’s for not stopping for a quick one, but the girls wanted to get into town and visit the jewelry stores. Knowing AMA had burnt down we had no idea where they where located but after walking up and down Front Street a few times and after a Guavaberry drink at the brewery we found Mac and Sam (yes, another Sam) at AMA’s new location. After 3 hours, many free Carib’s and lot’s of oh’s and ah’s, our credit cards took some big hits. As Mac knows when we show up the calculator batteries better be fresh … and they were. They know we don’t buy from anybody else and they even offered to let us take other stuff we liked and pay at Christmas. Now that’s service … or good salesmanship. Somehow they switched us to champagne, cleaned all our rings and bracelets, repaired certain items and set an appointment to return later in the week to pay cash for a necklace George bought Kris (even though she left with it that day).
After shopping what else is there to do but celebrate, the girls took their tops off at The Buccaneer, but Neil was not there, so we had to pay. NEIL PLEASE PUT UP A SIGN. We ended up seeing another reasonable sunset as we cooled down in L’Amandier’s pool while our table was being set. This restaurant is in our top three, mainly for relaxing on a late afternoon, very attentive service and tremendous view.
Cheri’s day meant boat day!! Dramamine was taken and the essentials purchased by George and I the night before (beer, rum, champagne, bread, cheese, meat and diet Coke) and we were off to meet Sam on the Regala FF. We raced into Marigot, driving like locals since we had overslept, as we had to be on the boat by 8:00 am to catch the bridge opening. Sam was preparing the boat and it was anchors away in minutes, with just enough time to get some coffee and ice. A morning storm hit us as we passed Grand Case on our way to Tintamare and we were a little concerned but all fears of Sam’s capabilities were put to rest when he told us he had sailed his little 24-foot plywood boat across the Atlantic. We were on a 42-foot catamaran and he navigated the storm with full sail. It’s a tremendous feeling sitting on the bows of a catamaran with the wind blowing and the waves splashing and hearing George shout “you want another beer?”
As we dropped anchor as close as we could to the wonderful “mud” island, we were utterly dismayed because of all the “cattlemarans” anchored there. Fortunately we knew from past visits that they would be leaving soon. We helped that along by going ashore fully nude. They kept their distance except for some long stares. I wonder why? We helped Sam bring the groceries ashore, and he and George found a table from the bushes to set us a proper lunch site at the water’s edge. Champagne was opened and sandwiches made.
The girls ventured back to the mud “pots” when we first arrived but found them teaming with tourists who weren’t impressed with their attire so they made quick work of mudding up and returned to the beach. After lunch, and when the cattlemarans were gone we returned for the real, full-blown treatment. George had never experienced this and Sam knew exactly where and how to find the best mud. As we lathered it on he became our professional photographer. What a sight it must have been, as we tramped back to our camp and allowed the mud to bake. After 30 minutes, washing it off was extremely pleasant and the end result was skin as smooth as silk.
A few more beers and we were off to Anguilla, the girls soaked up the sun on the main deck, working on their beautiful all over tans. Sam docked in a nice quiet bay and we summoned up the energy for a little snorkeling. He waited for a storm to pass by St. Martin and we were off to anchor just off of Baie Rouge to watch the sun go down while sipping our last bottle of champagne. After returning to Marigot (we missed the bridge so we had to anchor outside the marina) we had dinner at Le Village with our captain. The service at Le Village was quickly improving as the big “boss man” was arriving the next day and word had spread that we were his friends.
Thursday was another day at Orient Beach and Karl was at his best. Cheri and Kris picked up their made-to-measure suits and I was fitted with a “skirt” (sarong). The girls liked George’s so much I “had to have one,” they said. I must admit if David Beckham can wear one, so can I. Besides, they really are very comfortable.
After another relaxing day on OB watching all the sights walk by, George wanted to see another sunset. He told me he always likes a drink in hand as the sun goes down. A good sundown drinker is George! Well where else to go but SSBB, we don’t have to pay for Cheri and Kris so why not? After we arrived Cheri and Kris waved to the American Airline pilots and we brave men stood behind the Corsair 747 as it blasted down the runway and threw us off the wall and down the beach. After the sun went down we were off to Marigot to finally see our friend, Sam. He looked a little jet-lagged but was so pleased to see us all. A couple of pizza’s were sent to our table along with the usual couple of bottles of wine and his English improved as did our French, especially as we slid down a few more Caribbean rums.
On Friday, Kris finally had her day: Happy Bay. It started with a quick visit to pay Mac for the necklace and we were off to see Karl for a Kon Tiki umbrella. We tried a quicker way to Happy Bay than having to park at Friar’s Bay, and what we found was shorter but much more treacherous one. With the help of some local builders who were building new homes on the hill overlooking the bay we found a steep and rocky trail that lead us directly to the beach. I think they were happy to help when Cheri got out of the jeep in her mesh dress to ask directions and “can we park our car here?” In fact they may have carried our umbrella, cooler, towels and lunch basket if she had asked.
This was the day of a terrific windstorm. Thanks to Karl’s umbrella as we huddled together we wondered if it was going to last all day or be the perfect day that we had hoped for. Naturally the weather passed in a few minutes (okay, 45) and we stripped off to enjoy one of the best and most private beaches on the island. We shocked a few jet skiers who had come to snorkel and gave the local man in the bushes a few scowling glances. Yes, he was still there from last year and still watching every move the girls made. I think he got tired after a couple of hours and moved on which was a good job as Cheri and Kris drank all the rum and were starting to get a bit crazy. Let’s say balancing on the trunk of a horizontal palm tree and then hanging upside down is not normal for them, especially nude.
Knowing the stream of alcohol was running dry and we had to keep the buzz going we hiked back up the hill around 4:00 pm and set off to return Karl’s umbrella. Of course, he would not let us leave without tasting his rum drinks and a new concoction of mine, rum/banana/ice cream/chocolate.
Friday was the last night for George and Kris, so the glad rags were put on. With Cheri in her new Paris fashion and Kris in a very sexy dress we set off in our now really beaten up jeep (sorry again Michael) to Le Galion as Sam wanted us there for the evening. Far too much wine was consumed, but nobody was complaining, especially because the dinner was superb. Our female companions looked absolutely gorgeous that evening with their beautiful clothes and new jewels sparkling on their wonderful tanned bodies. We all thought this would be an early night because George still had to pack, but we were kept at Le Village by Sam and his waiters until very late. I wonder why?
Saturday was a sad day, Cheri had to take our friends to the airport for an early morning flight home as I packed again for the move to Mary’s Boon. Our room was not ready when we arrived, but it was okay because they put our valuables in their safe and let us leave our bags in their office. They even delivered them to the room so everything was set when we returned. A trip to Philipsburg was necessary so we could finish off our jewelry shopping at AMA and stock up the home bar with vodka, Benedictine, rum and Sambuca. We had prearranged with Sam and his brothers to meet us on Orient Beach at 1:00 pm and how good do you think Cheri felt? Getting all the attention from four French men and of course Karl all afternoon.
For our romantic night after relaxing in our room for a few hours we decided to dress up nice and fight the drive up to Le Planteur again. A couple of drinks at the honor bar watching a video of the mother turtle lay her eggs and talking with the local “hatchling-watchers” helped us get our energy back for the drive to Oyster Pond. We stopped by The Buccaneer on our way to show Neil we could clean up and enjoyed a final, peaceful dinner with Gerard.
Our last day was spent saying goodbye to Sam over breakfast at Le Village, waving to the airline pilots from SSBB and stopping at The Buccaneer for the TTOL party. Again Cheri went topless which caused a few stares and a few wows. Some people had already heard about the tequila shot night and wished they could have been there; we were even told we were legends on the island. Hehehe. At the TTOL party we met up with a lot of nice people, including a couple from Seattle who immediately asked if Cheri was drinking for free. When the answer was affirmative, off came the wife’s top too! OK two out of six or seven women was not bad. TTOL members if you want to party with us, the tops have to come off! Only joking!
We called it an early night and said our thanks to Neil, as we wanted to enjoy our room at Mary’s Boon and the complimentary bottle of champagne. The champagne lead to a skinny dip and photography session in their lovely little pool and VIP departure lounge before settling in for the night.
Michael was at Unity at 5:45 am to reclaim his jeep, or what was left of it and we stepped on the plane at 7:00 am and waved our goodbyes to an island that had given us so much fun. We arrived home on time and relaxed as a nice town car drove us home through rush-hour traffic. Oh for the two-lane roads of the island!
WE’VE ALREADY PLANNED NEXT YEAR…. Would anybody like to join us??
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