As that COPYRIGHTED edition of my SXM Weekly News dated April 1, 2018, said at the top and the bottom, it is / was the "April Fools" edition of SXM Weekly News.... It was one of many stories that were enjoyed by a lot of people (and panicked a few)....
I noticed that later but, with all due respect, the newsletter is so "busy" that I generally ignore everything above the actual stories so didn't see it the first time around.