Rita - I feel the same way, however I'd probably reduce the boat size to 36-40 feet when double handing, or going with 2 couples.

In the USVI/BVI the sailing is pretty tame and a long/large boat is not quite as critical to me. Small and maneuverable is nice, and Gen/AC is a must.

Anything 40-feet and up has a headsail that is so big that Barb can't sheet it all the way in. This is no huge deal... usually she brings it over and most of the way in, and then I pop the auto-pilot on and crank it the rest of the way in.