Let me start by saying that whatever shortcomings Hedo II has, it is not the staff. Not since the Golden Age of Bermuda Tourism have I encountered staff who were as pleasant, as eager to help, as concerned about your having a good time, as obliging, as those at Hedo. If they could bottle that work ethic and attitude and sell it to any number of organizations that consider themselves to be in the customer service industry, the world would be a much better place.

This was our second trip to Hedo. We had been there about 3 years ago and had a very relaxing holiday so we decided to try it out again.

Our Sunwing flight leaves at 6:20 so we are up at 2:00 a.m. to get to the airport in good time. The flight was on time and Customs and Immigration in Montego Bay are quick. After picking up our luggage we head for the Superclubs lounge to get our transportation. However, Superclubs is trying something new – checking people into their hotels at the airport lounge. Not sure why – maybe to save time at the hotel? Not a good idea, with people arriving from several flights and having to stand in line. When we get there, the line-up stretches through the lounge to the door while only one person is working to check folks in. After 20 minutes, we haven’t moved forward but the line is now out the door and into the airport proper. A lady who is trying to get people on a bus to Negril keeps wandering in and out. After 30 minutes, only two couples have been checked in. Finally the lady pulls all the Hedo people out of the line and takes us to the bus, where a group of folks have been waiting for some time. We all wait for another 2 couples and then we are off. We stop at the Jamaica Taste restaurant on the way so that some folks can have a beer and others can use the restrooms. After about a two hour bus ride we are there.

We have paid for an ocean view room on the prude side – we are not naturists – and are given a room on the nude side, on the second floor over looking the beach. I guess this is an upgrade so we are quite happy. The room is ready, clean and tidy. We decide to go and grab some lunch before unpacking. Later we grab a drink at the bar and decide to turn in early. We do not have dinner that night nor any night that we are there.

I should clarify here – we are not foodies by any stretch of the imagination. We ate breakfast and a late lunch each day. In the evening, usually after the dinner hours had begun, we wandered out to the dining room area, and had a drink or two while sitting near the pool. Usually I went and picked up a plate of cheese and crackers from the buffet and we had that. This is usually enough for me in the evening.

As for the food, I can state that we always found something we could eat off the buffet. Breakfast offered a variety of egg dishes – poached, boiled, fried along with made- to -order omelettes. There was fruit and pastries, pancakes and French toast, along with toast, bagels, cream cheese, smoked salmon, home fries, fried plantain. Also champagne and orange juice to make Mimosas.

Lunch usually offered fish of some sort, chicken, ribs, rice, veggies, pasta, salads, fruits, desserts including a very nice crème caramel every day. Nothing wrong with any of it. Five star restaurant fare? No, definitely not, but if you are looking for that, you’re in the wrong place.

The drinks were good – I usually drink a Southern Comfort Manhattan and I found it to my liking most nights. My husband drinks rum and coke – not much you can do wrong with that.

Entertainment was pretty much as we remembered it from our first trip. Lots of contests for costumes and trivia on slightly risqué subjects. One evening was the Men of Dreams contest. The entertainment crew work very hard.

On Friday night we sleep soundly having been up since 2:00 a.m.

Saturday we spend on the beach, arranging ourselves in a shady spot, with a great view of the water, a nice breeze, a short walk to the bar and a number of those blue floaty mattress things to put in the water. My favourite activity at Hedo is floating around the small bay on one of the mattresses, just drifting on the water and feeling the sun beating down. Heavenly!

Not too many people on the prude beach. Most of the action is on the nude side as the Denny P Group is just finishing up their December visit. No matter. The peace and quiet is just what we need.

Saturday night is a sleepless night, though, as, from midnight until 5:00 in the morning, people return to their rooms on the nude side in high spirits. How did I forget that the disco is open until 5:00 a.m.? The folks in the room next to ours, returning about 5:30 a.m. then turn on their TV full blast. No sleep to be had. It was then that we recalled how peaceful the prude side had been on our previous visit. At 8:30 we call the front desk and ask for a room on the other side. They say we can move about 11:00 a.m. so we get up, shower dress, have breakfast, pack and move. That takes up most of Sunday. Another early night and we feel much better on Monday.

Another day on the prude beach but there are more folks with us today and about half of them are nude. As the week wears on, more and more folks on the prude side strip down to their birthday suits. Also, people from the nude side regularly wander over to the prude side in the nude. There are nudes at the prude side beach bar, a nude man in the dining room at lunch. We had also notice people walking on the nude side fully clothed.

We ask a staff member if things have changed, if there is no longer segregation between the prude side and the nude as we see nude people everywhere. She tells us that that is not the way it is supposed to be, that nothing has changed. Nevertheless, no one challenges anyone.

Also, no one challenges or deals with PDA’s regardless of where they take place. A couple in the shallows of the prude side beach carry on without disruption. Two ladies in the dining room at lunch express serious “affection” for each other to the extent that several staff stand with their mouths hanging open but no one says or does anything.

Monday night we have a visitor in our room – a very large bug that moves way faster than we do. After a 20 minute hunt and a half can of hairspray, said bug is disabled and dispatched. Ah, off to bed. The beds, I should mention, are very comfortable.

During the day on Monday we ask the maid for assistance in setting the digital clock in the room. She obliges. However, none of us check the alarm and so it goes off at midnight. We’re not having much luck sleeping through the night. Is that what they mean by “sleeping like a baby?”

The one complaint we do have about the rooms is the air conditioning. For some reason, in both rooms, it seemed very difficult to set the AC at an acceptable temperature. It defaults to 72 degrees F and blows cold air all night long. We finally find out how to shut it off altogether but then, all night long, it makes a sound like a Black Hawk chopper coming in to land.

General comments on the state of the hotel: It was built in the 70’s and its age is showing. Apart from the bathrooms, I don’t think much has been upgraded in the rooms. Too, both baths that we saw were in pretty bad shape, the floors of the tub grimy and with flaking paint where some attempt had been made to clean up. Many of the beds on the beach were broken and walkways and pathways were in disrepair.

Tuesday we go for a walk along the beach, past Sandals and Beaches. Nice looking hotels and a very nice beach. I question why, if Hedo II was there first, they purchased the beach that they did.

Later we go for a shopping tour to Negril – not much shopping really – just souvenir type places. From there we go to Rick’s Café to see the sunset and the cliff divers. We meet some folks we had met on the bus and have a good time. Our taxi driver, Richard, is very pleasant, arriving right on time to take us back to the hotel.

Wednesday and Thursday are beach days again. Very few people on the beach but still some nudes on the prude side and just about everywhere else, including the pool. No matter, we have a lovely spot on the beach and lots of floaty mattresses.

A note about the weather: except for brief shower one morning just as we got to our shady spot on the beach, when it rained for about 15 minutes, it was sunny and warm all the time.

Instructions come on Thursday for our trip home – bags outside the door at 6:00 a.m., bus leaves at 7:00 a.m. so up at 5:00 to be ready. No breakfast at that hour but manage to grab tea and coffee from the tea and coffee alcove in the dining room. Very handy, that. As we sit in the dining room that last morning a man wanders in to get coffee. He is wearing a hat, a very short t-shirt and a pair of running shoes. Truly, someone is going to have to explain this nudist/naturist thing to me again.

The bus ride to the airport is quick and uneventful. We have breakfast at the airport and do a bit of shopping for rum. The plane leaves on time and we return home to near freezing temperatures, suddenly remembering that we have not yet put up our Christmas outdoor lights. Boy, it’s going to feel cold.

We had a very pleasant holiday and, like everyone else in Hedo II, enjoyed ourselves in our own way. I guess that, and the amazing staff, are what make the place worth going back to.