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I said I wouldn't BUT... #166102
07/18/2018 09:56 PM
07/18/2018 09:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 55
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fromaway3774 Offline OP
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fromaway3774  Offline OP
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Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 55
Back in April 2016, my family and I embarked on our first bareboat charter in the BVI's. Overall we had a good week but, due to weather and family dynamics, I said I wouldn't bareboat again. (I posted a trip report soon afterwards but am not sure how to post a link to it.) My husband and I ended up in STJ for a week in Sept 2016 as a result of my not getting my "fix" during the April trip.

In April 2018 we returned to STJ and had a fantastic trip. However, during that trip I couldn't justify the cost of a private day charter to the BVI's so we stayed in the USVI's the whole time. I was sorry that we couldn't visit our favorite spots in the BVI's and support them after the hurricanes. I seem destined to boomerang between the USVI's and the BVI's, being in one and missing the other, until my husband and I achieve the stage in life where we can take two full weeks and do both in the same trip!

Well, here we are in July, and I just snagged amazing airfare to STT for vacation week April 2019. This will be my husband, myself, and our younger son who is an avid sailor, and we are considering bareboating again. We will rent a monohull if we are by ourselves or we may try to find another family to share a catamaran. Which leads me to my question: what are good criteria to use when evaluating whether or not people are a good fit to share a charter? I've seen recent posts with helpful suggestions about how to make sure people are committed financially but there are other factors as well. For example:
  • Eat at restaurants or cook on the boat?
  • Sail or sit on the beach?
  • Neat or not?
  • Breakfast Beer yay or Breakfast Beer nay


What criteria am I missing?

Many thanks to all on this forum who continue to provide good insight and advice!
FromAway

Last edited by fromaway3774; 07/18/2018 10:01 PM.
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Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: fromaway3774] #166105
07/19/2018 12:55 AM
07/19/2018 12:55 AM
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 19
Mobile, AL (USA)
EckyEcky Offline
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EckyEcky  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 19
Mobile, AL (USA)
My two cents, don't plan a trip to spend a week on a boat with anyone you have not spent a week (give or take) with before. Just returned from a trip with two other couples, both of which we spent a week with on land. Trip couldn't have been better, we all knew what we were getting. We booked a four cabin sailing cat with the thought of adding a fourth couple. In the end, we opted to just keep it three couples as we ALL had not spent any significant time with one other couple. Your trip appears a bit different, unless your son likes hanging out with old people (and yes, all parents are old people-from a child's perspective). You need to find a couple you could spend a week with AND has a child your son LIKES. Funny thing, when we were finishing the check out on the boat, the navs had an issue that couldn't be repaired that day, so we agreed to move to another boat-a three cabin version of the same. If we had the fourth couple, we might have had to wait for our boat to be repaired. Things just have a way of working out...

As far as your four questions, refer back to my two cents above, you should know what you're getting. But here are my thoughts:
Eat out or cook? Sure, we ate out. But each couple cooked a meal one night (maybe two nights in your case) and we team cooked what was left on the last night. Cooking is part of the fun. BOTH!
Sail or sit on a beach? If they don't want to sail and prefer to just sit on a beach, book the mono and tell them to meet you there-in a Jeep. We sailed to get to the next bay, beach, bar. BOTH!
Neat or not? Nothing could be worse than having a slob on a boat, unless you're a slob as well, then I guess it wouldn't matter. In our case, slobs may have ended up overboard or forgotten. My advice, NEAT!
Breakfast Beer Yay or Nay? Drink 'em if you got 'em. or don't. But if you'd get a funny look if you had a beer with your bacon, pick another couple. BOTH!

As far as missing criteria, I'll defer to others. This was only our second trip, first was with our two kids last May. Upon return, I had a goal to do it with some friends-that I KNEW I could spend a week with...

EckyEcky


Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale...
Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: fromaway3774] #166111
07/19/2018 07:16 AM
07/19/2018 07:16 AM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,720
Massachusetts
maytrix Offline
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maytrix  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,720
Massachusetts
We've done many trips with many different people. I think what worked for us was knowing the people we went with would be good on a boat. We also didn't ever charter with anyone that was rigid - being flexible is key and going with the flow. In all our trips we only had 1 person that didn't contribute much to helping cook, sail..etc. There were 9 of us so we had plenty to pick up the slack (and with 9 there really wasn't any slack to begin with). So we just let it go and it didn't bother anyone. A few of the trips we had friends bringing someone with them and while we didn't know them, we trusted our friends to make a good judgement on whether or not their friends/family would be good on a boat.

As far as your examples -

Eat at restaurants or cook on the boat?
Sail or sit on the beach?
Neat or not?
Breakfast Beer yay or Breakfast Beer nay

I'm not sure any of that matters. We've done all the above. The neat or not might be the only thing that could be an issue, but if someone isn't neat, as long as they keep that to their cabin it shouldn't be an issue. No matter how big a boat is, it is still small.. so it does help to set a guideline on where stuff should be stored so as to not have stuff all over the place.

I'm not sure if the above helps or not, but it is whats worked for us.


Matt
Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: fromaway3774] #166112
07/19/2018 07:37 AM
07/19/2018 07:37 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 348
Pittsburgh, PA
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Schwendy Offline
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Schwendy  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 348
Pittsburgh, PA
I think the financial responsibility comes first. Doesn't matter if they are the perfect friends or family. If you start the process fretting over money then it either goes all downhill from there or sets the tone for the trip. You might be fighting to maintain a happy balance for the duration or haggling up to the moment you part ways headed home. That happened to me on my first charter but I managed to still have a great time although it took more effort that I thought could have been avoided. Heading down tomorrow on my second charter and this time it's been WAY worse with the money! It's like I wanted to learn from the first experience but no matter how hard I tried, didn't matter. And these are best friends I've had for 30 years with lots more money than I have! Money! Money! Money! The rest will fall into place if you are politely assertive with people. If someone is sitting on their [censored] while everyone is cleaning or helping, give them a specific task and tell them. Don't expect them to just realize on their own. Doesn't happen and it will just eat at you. While it sucks that you have to be the one to give orders it's the best way in the end. The only way.



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Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: fromaway3774] #166115
07/19/2018 07:44 AM
07/19/2018 07:44 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,277
Saint Thomas, USVI
CaptainJay Offline
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CaptainJay  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,277
Saint Thomas, USVI
Rick G's list for Villa Vacations that he wrote before I converted him into a sail boater still applies. Just substitute boat for Villa and forget the rental cars. But a couple of Kayaks can serve the same purpose of escape.

RickG's group travel rules for St. John
May 5, 2009, 2:30 PM
These are my rules and they've been stress tested for groups up to 24.

1. Don't invite anyone who is a whiner. Don't invite anyone that you would not spend a week with 1-on-1.

2. I pick the BOATnot villa and the week and people get to decide if they want to come. It's okay if no one wants to come with me.

3. You get to pick your room/CABIN in the order that you pay. I've already paid the deposit, so I go first. This deals with the equal rooms problem and #1 deals with whiners.

4. One vehicle per 2 couples with at least one person from each couple on the contract for each car. Expect there to be an early group and a late group each morning. This is not a problem. I get my own vehicle. I'm in the early group and my lover is in the late group. on the boat get a couple Kayak or a paddle board for escape pods and fun

5. Pick a beach/Island each day that you want to visit; 11AM is a good rendezvous time. The late group can usually make it and the early group will have done a hike and another beach already. It's okay if no one meets me at the beach.

6. Do some happy hours at the villa/BOAT. It's cheap and 6-8 people is a party. Bring Twister.

7. Dinner out for 6-8 is a pain in the a$$. Do some dinners at the villa/Boat and do some date nights. Meet for drinks before and after dinner. There's always room at the Beach Bar, Quiet Mon and Larry's Landing for 6-8.

8. Expect to spend a day without leaving the villa/Boat. Make sure that there is not a mid-week maid visit scheduled that day. Start the blender at 10AM, but put sunscreen on all exposed skin first.

9. Put $100 per person in a food/drink kitty for villa provisions. If someone is concerned that they won't spend that much and want differential treatment, that breaks rule #1 - they don't get to come. $800 will cover food and booze at the villa for 8 adults for a week. Dinner for 8 at Zozo's is $680.

Lessons learned:

- If someone whines at home, they will whine more on STJ/Boat.

- If someone pitches in at home they will pitch in more on STJ.

- 10 people feels much bigger than 8 people - 60% bigger - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fully_connected_network - c=(n^2-n)/2

- The herd moves at the speed of the slowest beast.

- Don't be afraid to say "I'm heading out. I'll be back for sunset."

- Newbies will assume the villa is on the beach, even if you tell them otherwise and show them pictures. If they can't get over this, they stay at the Westin.

- #1 takes care of almost every possible problem.

Cheers, RickG

Last edited by CaptainJay; 07/19/2018 07:49 AM.
Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: CaptainJay] #166120
07/19/2018 08:52 AM
07/19/2018 08:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 55
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fromaway3774 Offline OP
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fromaway3774  Offline OP
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Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 55
Thanks everyone for the good feedback and advice. Gotta love Rick G's rules!

We are part of a sailing community at home so are pretty familiar with the dynamics we may be getting into. What I may not have made clear in my post (mea culpa) is are there any other criteria that should be used during the conversation to assess fit and compatibility? From another angle, what expectations did a fellow charterer have that took you by surprise?

Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: CaptainJay] #166121
07/19/2018 08:55 AM
07/19/2018 08:55 AM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 788
Kannapolis, NC
ndfaninnc Offline
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ndfaninnc  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 788
Kannapolis, NC
That is prefect!!


Go Irish!!

Bill

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Re: I said I wouldn't BUT... [Re: fromaway3774] #166130
07/19/2018 10:04 AM
07/19/2018 10:04 AM
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 277
trueblue Offline
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trueblue  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 277
Make sure that it Is clear from the very start who is the captain of your boat, and that your guests know that the captain is in charge at all times.

The captain is free to delegate that responsibility, but the charter company and the insurance company will place all responsibility onto the captain if things go badly.


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