This is a lengthy report so I will categorize rather than day by day activities so you can skip to whatever part you may be interested in. This was our third trip to Hedo. Screen names or initials for individuals have been used to protect the guilty!

Getting There

Booked our flight with WestJet (our favourite airline) and our accomodations with Dream Pleasure Tours. Although we are not in the lifestyle, we booked with them because of their no bump policy and transportation to a from the airport was included.

Going to Toronto airport we had to deal with high winds and two blizzards (streamers) but managed to get to the airport in a reasonable amount of time. WestJet flight left pretty much on time after de-icing the wings and arrived in Mobay slightly early. When we arrived at immigration there were no line-ups and we breezed through, arrived at the baggage carousel and our bags were there waiting for us, through customs and then on to the reception area where we presented our travel vouchers and were taken immediately to the bus...all in a matter of about 20 minutes from the time the plane arrived at the gate. Of course the gentleman who greeted us and took us to the bus said we could “express our appreciation” (read tip) which we did. We actually felt rushed! So rushed that we did not even have time to stop for a beer. The driver was waiting for other passengers and said we had time to go get a beer. After waiting about 40 minutes all the passengers had arrived...a competely full bus with all the suitcases stacked precariously at the back...I was expecting an avalanche!

This was a white-knuckle, bone-shaking ride, the driver did not spare the horses. Around Lucea the driver asked if we wanted to stop for beer and relief...unanimously “hell no, get us to Hedo!” We arrived in Hedo in 1 hour and 5 minutes, the fastest time ever for us!

Arrival at Hedo

Once we got of the bus, Robert of Dream Pleasure Tours was waiting for us with all our information and very importantly room assignment OVP 1123! We had brought school supplies with us as DPT collects for a local school. Robert said they we taking them the next morning but we could bring them to his room when we unpacked. He had 3 suitcases full of school supplies...pens, pencils, crayons, calculators note books, candy, etc.

(As a sideline we attended the DPT cocktail reception the next evening where Robert showed us pictures he had taken with his iPad...this school had next to nothing yet the children were happy and enthusiastic! The students and staff were extremely grateful and we felt very humbled and proud that we had at least contributed. We had only seen this type of poverty in Cuba.)

Once in our room we stripped off and headed for the dark side, drinks and hot tub were certainly in order now. Then back to our room to get ready for School Girl Night...my favourite! ;-)

Food

We are not really high-end eaters but we find the buffet just fine and can always find something we like. As usual after about 2 days I go off the food and not because it is not good, but there is something of a sameness to it, however by the end of the week I was back on again, especially Lobster Night (Fridays). That night they also had roast Turkey at the carving station, Herladyship said it was delicious! We thought the food had improved over last year. The breakfasts are always good and we really like the omlettes, bacon and sausage although there is a lot more to choose from.

We also enjoy the beach BBQ by Delroy’s, their chicken is always good, most days they did not have fish but I did manage to get some one day. We also went to the Prude grill a couple of times, there is usually not a lot of people there and it is a great place to get away for a rest during the day. The food is just as good as the one by Delroy’s. The problem is you have to be dressed. One day when we went Herladyship had no top on and was told they could not serve her unless she covered up. I had told her this before leaving our chairs, however, I do not know anything...in this case I got to be right...which is rare! A lady at another table had a string bikini on and was sitting on the chair with her bare butt! Something doesn’t make sense here.

We went to Martino’s one night and the food was very good. Herladyship had lamb chops which she said were excellent and I had a very nice seafood linguini...which was actually a starter but they made it into an entree for me. We finished off the evening with creme brule each. Nice place to chill out and have a quiet dinner...I will get to the dress code later.

Theme Nights

I only dressed up for a couple of nigbts (who cares about me anyway ;-) and she did about 5. Our first night was School Girl Night and Herladyship actually got up on stage for the competition, which really shocked me. She did not make the finals but all contestants were awarded Hedo Bucks. The two finalists had to perform simulated sex acts or lap dancing on some lucky male contestant so she would not have done that anyway!

We also enjoy Pirates and Wenches Night. We always dress up for that as it is my alter ego! There were some excellent costumes but not many people entered the costume competition. This night the winners were not expected to perform, but as is the norm, were chosen by round of applause.

PJ night is another favourite of mine. Again we both participated and I wore my Guinness boxers which went largely unnoticed ;-( ...I know, it is about the ladies. This is usually the night where I strain my neck trying to see everything! We skipped dressing up for Fetish and Rock Star Night...although I like Fetish Night!!! Black and White Night is fairly easy to dress for.

Before we left home, Herladyship said she would like to do Mask Parade Night and purchased a mask before we left home, which really surprised me! (I think I found a fetish here LOL). That night she said she would not get up on stage for the competition. When only a few people would get up on stage, Fifty came over and got here and escorted her on to the stage....what lady would not go with Fifty??? Again not a winner but she did have a gorgeous mask and I was very proud of her.

Winners and contestants were all awarded Hedo Bucks. They used to give a bottle of rum to the winner...what happened to that? In my opinon they leave it too late after dinner to start the competitions and many guest have already gone on to other venues.

Entertainment

The nightly entertainment this year was outstanding, it has always been good but this year was even better. On Sunday night a lady named Alyssa (sp) came on stage to sing after the competitions. I was completely blown away by her. If I closed my eyes I would swear it was Tina Turner...amazing talent. On Fetish Night the ECs did the gymnastics and trapeze act...very dark and sultry but beautiful! Although there are only two females in the show group it still held my attention. On Rock Star Night Naughty Nick and Winston did an absolutely astounding job, especially on “Don’t Stop Believeing” and their version of “It’s My Life”. They brought the crowd to their feet!

The ECs are exceedingly talented people and work long hours making announcements, runnning games and hosting contests as well as performing in the evening...when do they have time to rehearse? I also think the house band Roots Explosion are amazing - these guys can play anything and play it very well.

The Rules

Something we found strange this year was the enforcement of the rules. The nude side you have to be nude, so the signs say, and in past years we have seen people be told to “drop ‘em or leave”. This year we saw many textiles (mostly bikini bottoms and a few tops) on the nude side for days at a time and security said nothing. We heard that a few people were told but this was totally inconsistent.

We also understood that one must be dressed to go into Martino’s (we have been there in previous years). We took this to mean golf shirt and shorts or a sun dress or something similar. We no sooner went in and a bare [censored] went walking past us, yup, very skimpy teddy. Another guy was sitting there in what looked like underwear and an open shirt.

I don’t know if this is because the resort is changing hands and the staff don’t care, but I do think they need to be consistent in the application of the rules.

Off the Resort

This was our third trip to Hedo and so far we had only taken a walk down the beach as far as Sandals, this time we thought we take a few side trips, even though it is hard to tear youself away from Hedo.

Our first excursion this year we decided to walk across the street to the market. Immediately upon exiting the Hedo gate we were offered taxis, dope, and anything else. As we approached the market we noticed there was no one there except the vendors so we decided not to go in. One man approached us to buy jewellery right on the street. We told him we were only going for a walk. We walked as far as the gas station and turned around. On our way back we saw him grab his tray and come out to meet us on the street. He was actually quite nice and we did by a few small pieces from him but I think our decision not to go into the market was sound and this was proven later.

The next day we had signed up for the shopping trip (and Rick’s) with DPT, however, we discovered we likely would not be back in time for our reservation at Martinos. Herladyship was looking forward to Martinos and disappointment was not an option! While in the lobby we met a couple who offered to share their taxi with us as they were just going shopping and coming right back. We went to Times Square and when finished there they asked us if we would like to go to the Craft Market as we just had to experience it. Wow! We were virtually accosted by every vendor, some even more aggressive than the next... “Come see my stuff, respect me, etc.” We felt like running away and most of it was the same stuff. However, after running the gauntlet we did see a few things (carvings) we liked that were different and made a couple of purchases, clandestinely of course. We made it back in plenty of time to get cleaned up and head to Martinos.

This day we booked the catamaran cruise as I really wanted to snorkel. For $55 per person this was really not worth it. There were about 90 on the boat which made it very crowded. There were snacks and an open bar but with the crowded conditions it was difficult to get around. There was a girl sitting on the bar with the bartender holding her up and people doing beer shots off her which made it difficult to get a drink. When I finally got to the bar I said I would like a beer but I will drink it out of the glass please! They did stop to snorkel at the far end of Negril and it was cool going into a cave and see the bats flying around. Not a lot of Marine life though...there was more wildlife on the catamaran! On the way back they were playing some insidious rap music that 16 year olds would not listen to. We spoke with some others who said they asked them to change to music but to no avail. Others said this was the worst trip they had been on and would not be leaving a tip. Will definitely not do this trip again...far too expensive for what it is. On a positive note we did get to be entertained at the beginning of the trip by Rasta Ralphie!

On Friday we were asked by a group of friends if we would like to go to Rick’s for sunset with a stop at Margaritaville on the way. Herladyship declared we were in and 12 of us set off in 2 taxis. Margaritaville was kind of cool and of course commercial but a fun place. At Rick’s we were treated to a wonderful sunset and of course there were the cliff divers, the locals were good but the tourists jumping were very entertaining. Rick’s is surely a must visit at least once!

Piano Bar

Only went in 1 night and there was some excruciating singer accompanied by the piano player. The place was nearly empty and no wonder, why do drunk people think they can sing? The next night it was announced that Deon would be there, we were going to go with a group of friends, a few went in and came back out again saying it was so loud they couldn’t stand it so we didn’t bother.

Friends

Hedonism provides the venue...but it is the people you meet that is really the best and are the Hedo vibe. This year we were lucky enough to meet with friends we made last year like foxxyandhound, C & S (our neighbours from across the Niagara River), Garry S37 and all the new friends we met through current friends, the circle just gets bigger. Also ran into Ariescouple from ATF board in the pool one afternoon.

I even met a lady who was a teacher at the high school I attended...we were there at the same time but did not know each other back then...be careful, it’s a small world!

Now we have to nurse our “Hedo Hangover” re-adjust to the real world and start planning our next trip.


CapnMorgan and Herladyship on ATF
John on TTOL
(a.k.a. John and Toddy) <img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/Cheers.gif" alt="" />