This report has also been posted on Trip Advisor with slight changes.

This trip was our third since the resort opened, and the best of the three. This will not be a report of daily activities, but rather a commentary on what we thought were key elements of the resort and of our stay.

ARRIVAL: After registering with the Jamaica Travel Limited booth at the airport, we were told to wait at the curb for a van to take us to the resort. We had to wait for what seemed a long time (really only about 20 minutes) while the van driver tried to get enough passengers to fill the van. The ride to N took about 30 minutes in light traffic.

CHECK-IN: This time the check-in was a bit less welcoming than in previous trips. The people at the desk were efficient, but rather matter-of-fact. We had requested a specific room, but were assigned a room in a different block. I understand that there are no guarantees. We were travelling with a friend, and had requested that we be placed in nearby rooms. In fact we were placed in buildings 1 and 7. Luckily, Freddy happened to be nearby, and a quick polite conversation with him resolved the issue to our satisfaction. Ronald, the bellboy, was very helpful with suggestions for a pleasant stay.

ROOM: Previous reports have described the rooms at N. Ours was quite adequate. The bed was on the hard side, but very comfortable. The bathroom was fine, though the fixtures could use an update. The biggest complaint we had was the inconsistent water pressure and temperature. On some days you had plenty of water, and on some days it was scalding hot and on other days it was cool. On one occasion the water pressure dropped to a trickle just as I finished soaping up! The mini-bar was stocked with 2 beers, 2 pops, a jug of water, and a bottle of champagne (perhaps as a return guest perk). The wi-fi was again inconsistent, some days great, others not so.

FOOD: For 8 of the 10 days, breakfast was served in the Main Dining Room. Samuel, the omelette chef from previous years, was no longer there, but the 2 replacements made very decent omelettes and scrambled eggs. I do like my salsa with the eggs, and this too was available on some days and not on others (had to ask for it). The porridge was very tasty, and the bacon was nicely crisp. Would have loved some crispy hash-browns (alas not to be had!). Lunch was always at the Beach Bar and Grill. My favourite was the Pepper Pot soup. The quesadillas were delicious, but the curried chicken was a disappointment. At both breakfast (and to a slightly lesser extent, at lunch) the slight letdown was the “forgetfulness” of the wait staff. They would ask what we wanted to drink, I would order orange juice or coffee, and they would disappear. You would see them wandering around, apparently having forgotten that I wanted something. Just a slight annoyance. Didn’t notice it at dinner. Dinner was in the Main Dining room. Food was uniformly delicious, with the exception of the steak. We had asked for rare and medium-rare; they came well-done, and were tough to eat. The fish in different forms was delicious.

ENTERTAINMENT: N is not a 5 star glass and marble resort, and neither is the entertainment. Repeat guests will know of the fire-eater, whose show becomes a bit boring after a couple of repeats. The people with the bamboo poles and the broken-glass fellow did their usual thing. I “volunteered” for the bamboo pole event, but my performance was did not get an Oscar. My wife and I both entered the “Is it water or is it Vodka” contest, which was a hoot. Jeffery’s band was very good, with Jeffery on the guitar putting on a very animated show. One night they had 3 ladies who put on a musical show, with very good vocals and very danceable music. We even spent some after-dinner time in the Piano Bar. We enjoyed the entertainment more this year than in previous years, perhaps because we participated in the silliness. I don’t think this was part of the fire-eater’s act, but just after he had finished, many of the staff ran towards the Beach Bar. We got up to see what the commotion was all about. Apparently the sensor on one of the deep-fryers had malfunctioned, and there was a grease fire of somewhat epic proportions. The bar was closed for lunch the next day, but reopened the following day with a new deep-fryer and a bright fresh coat of paint for the whole bar.

ACTIVITIES: The day’s activities were written on a board daily, and most of them were actually held. The volleyball and aquacize (sp?) were loudly announced at the stated time. Most felt that the aquacize was well done and I thought it was worth getting up off my lounge. The highlight for my wife and I was the goat race on the beach. Goats are stubborn, and will not move if pulled. You have to use mental telepathy to make them want to win! We both won in our respective races for 2 bags of Blue Mountain coffee! Did I mention the 2 bottles of rum (200 ml) that we won at the lunchtime trivia contest?

CLEANLINESS: We noticed that the beach was cleaner than in previous trips, which helped convince my wife to do several swim laps daily. The beach was raked daily (and seemed almost constantly) to keep it free of seaweed. The hot tubs were drained, scrubbed with bleach, rinsed off and refilled on a daily basis. The main pool could use more frequent vacuuming; there were leaves and tiny pebbles on the bottom in places. The rest of the resort was spotless. The housekeeping staff did a great job of cleaning the rooms and smelling fresh.

NUDE WALKS: My mornings started with a power walk on the beach to the right of the resort. The chain link fence had been taken down, so I walked all the way to the resort next door (formerly Breezes, now being renovated to be opened as Memories White Sands). Two laps of that walk gave me a 20 min workout. In the afternoon we checked for Low Tides and went for a walk to the left of the resort past Time ‘n Place. The walk almost to the new Falmouth pier is about an hour. Royal Caribbean, who are key players in the new pier, have cleaned out a small part of the beach and have built a small beach bar and souvenir shops about 10 minutes beyond Time ‘n Place, called Red Stripe Beach Bar. They are bringing passengers for a beach excursion. This means that you need to take some sort of minimal cover-up to be used in front of the textiles when approaching the place on cruise ship days.


NUDITY: Finally a word about probably the main reason why people go to N. The resort bills itself as an “all nude, naturist getaway”, and around the pool and on the beach that certainly was the case. I was disappointed with the amount of clothing worn at meals. The resort clearly states on their website and in printed leaflets in the rooms that cover-ups are NOT required in the dining rooms. Freddy said that that was changed because that was what people wanted. Great! Unfortunately, that was not the case. Lunch at the Beach Bar saw the most nudity, with about 30% nude and the rest with some form of cover-up (I am discounting the bum-towel as an item of clothing). However at breakfast and dinner, most people were covered. Some wore plain street clothes, some wore stylish resort wear, and some wore, dare I say, slut-wear. Now I have absolutely nothing against street clothes (I do wear them from time to time!), the stylish resort wear is very nice at Sandals, and I have nothing against slut-wear (in the appropriate venue). There are a million resorts where you can be dressed for dining. But N is a NUDIST resort! I felt perfectly comfortable in my birthday suit. A few people commented and complimented me on my “undress code”. The above observations are factual; the commentary is my personal belief.

WILL WE RETURN? Counting the days till our next visit!


Kevin