Okay, tried posting this on BVI People Talk, but so far, have not received what I'm looking for... Several months ago (could even be about a year or so ago), someone posted a great explanation on what this comment really meant. I remember the posting to be long and quite comical and actually thought I saved it, but can't seem to find it. Does anyone have a copy of the article or posting that I'm referring to? Again, it was hilarious! Thanks for your help,
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Reply by Uschi
Is that the one you are looking for - I still have it saved on my computer since it is too funny. Had sent it to friends then lost it and had them send it back to me

Your bags are packed, you've confirmed your ticket and now you just wait until the day arrives when you finally come to the BVI. What next? Practice the local lingo, mon
When immigration asks "purpose of visit?" say "We be limin mon" (= here to relax and party)
When someone inquires as to how you are doing, say "We be jammin' mon" (=relaxin & partyin)
If you must excuse yourself to go somewhere say "I go to come back" (this means you will return in 10 minutes or several hours or a few days or several month so it is good for any time frame)
Never pronounce the "H" in words. So if you need 3 beers, you say "Good morning, tree beers please"
If you order orange juice, be sure to pronounce "or-range" with two syllables. If you want the fresh veggies instead of the rice with your meal, be sure that you pronounce two G's and two T's in veg-get-tab-bles"
If your thong breaks and is no longer covering your thing, they you say, "My t'ong mashup and show my t'ing, I t'ink I need a new t'ong, let me see if I can get t'rough"
If you are shopping and don't want the clerk to bother you you say "I gittin t'rough" (pronunced true) which means you are "getting through" as in you see what you want.
If you are shopping for flip-flops, ask for slippers
If you are shopping for loafers, ask for slippers,
If you are shopping for sandals, ask for slippers.
the proper way to walk is to loudly shuffle your feet without picking them up. If you can manage to sway as much from side to side as well as forward, then you are truly walking the local way.
If you skin your knee on a rock, remember that anything between your toe and hip is reffered to as "da foot" and rocks are always stone-rock and anything that hurts or is broken is mash or mash-up. So you "mash da foot on a stone-rock".
If you are suffering from a powerful hangover - say "My head ain't good"
If you want an automatic in your rental car, ask for "mash'n'go"
If you crash your rental car, call them up and confess you "mash da car"
If you crash your bareboat on a reef, call and confess "I mashup da boat".
When the bareboat company asks you to pay for the damages, say "I go to come back" (and leave the island)
If you go south, you "go down island" If you go North, you "go off ilsand". If no one knows where you go, then you "go to come back".
If someone upsets you and you want them to know that although you may have been born at night, it was not LAST night, then you suck in your teeth loudly. This is used only in extreme cases and is treatet as similar to muttering obsenities under your breath.
A polite way to let someone know, thay have upset you is to exclaim loudly "cheese & bread!"
If the power goes off (and it does) you may inquire "When da current coming back?" Be sure to "plug out" anything you want to protect from surges.
For superb service, greet locals with a cheery "Good morning or Good Afternoon or Good Night" Good night means hello not good bye. We never say good bye, cause we "go to come back".
Bring HALF the clothes and TWICE the money. Travel light on the baggage and heavy on the wallet. If you need it and don't have it, you can buy it here. If you can't buy it here, then you don't need it.

Just some travel-tips
Love
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Reply by SeeDiver
I've found a few more:

A few I-lan terms dem;
Wok No - keep walking.
Ant - not a crawling insect, but your muddah's sister.
Bahn - if you was bahn heah, you sitting on top a deh world.
Bile - Waht you do wit bush to mek tea.
Bode - you need a good size piece of bode to mek a table.
Bun - if you put yo han in de fire, you get bun.
Cark - cark up de bottle to keep the smell in.
Chess - You rub you chess wit Vicks
Coat - where you go befoe de judge to get sentence
Done - when you get done eat, you leave de table.
Edeyut - if he wasn't such and edeyut, he would be in school.
Foe - the numba between tree and five.
Fraid - ole time people was fraid of dead, now dey fraid o' living.
Hoewn - He don't respect hoewn Fada.
Hersown - De hair on she head was not hersown at-tall.
Hospittle - The place where sick folks go when de sick and well people keep away so as not to get sick.
Liyah - De man who you pay to defen you in Coat and keep you out of de Fort.
Bozzidy - yo ain good in yo head
Tree - the number 3
Bbarna - yo buttocks
Wuking up - wining yo waist dancing
Iree - cool !; happening!
Bran Bran - Something new.....
Bracka Daaammmm - Is a mash up Hard Hard!!!
Out delite - turn off the light
Not As Good As You. - response to how are you?
Snow - something your spouse does while sleeping.
Rabnousness - When he rab'nous, he eat all de food.
Up - use in between words to make the point, ie to humbug up, or get wet up, to be a up harborer is worse the being a theif!.
Plug it out - Unplug an electrical appliance
Inside! - what you yell from outside the door instead of, "Hello - anyone home?"
Wuss - When thing aren't getting betta
Stay UP!!! - what you say after a conversation when leaving to go down de road.
Mo Times!! - said in hopes to see the other person again.
Blow Out - when de flip flops done give out.
Coopsin - checking something out.......I be coopsin dat boy!!!!!
Gung Tung - going to town
New broom sweep clean, old broom know de carners.
Poke - chops, roast or spareribs.
WHEN DE WIND DOAN BLOW
FOWL BOTTOM DOAN RISE
Cheez 'n Bread - is not a sandwich.
Cooksup - He/she want to get something going (romantically) with that person. I won to "cookups" wit dat won, She done stir me fire!
Reach Me Dat - when ya wantin dem to pass ya sumptin
Da Chilren Dem - the plural of children
It Ain't Nuthin But A Ting Mon... gotta get off de rock... when the island gettin to small for ya
We Be Limin - when ya got nuttin betta ta do...ya hangin out
Mash N'Go - an automatic car
A new brand - when something is brand new
I Going To Come Back - when yo going out for a little while and yo gon be back
Too soon to ripe - too ripe, to rot. Old saying from Mommie Anduze, as related to me by Dr. Roy, means something about growing up too fast.
Soon come. - be there soon
Wussup? What's up. Heard it first in the I-lans.
Woppenin'? What's happening. Ditto
Goo Too....Parrot fish Dem say dat "dey ain good to eat" Udders say dat dey is "Goo Too"
Out spout = drain for the water from your roof
Carto - wha all dem boxes made out of
Flim - put it in de camera
Ol'wife - triggerfish (poached to perfection @ the Quarterdeck)
Ole Years Nite - (Dec, 31st) My parents found this out the hard way... hired a band for New Years Eve (thinking Dec. 31st), and when the band showed up on Jan. 1st., my Mudda say " What d'f__k! They explained that the last day of the year is Old years night... the last night of the old year! Go Figure.
Ballooon - not for de chilren partay
Tie me loose---------untie the boat


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Roger
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Another reply by Uschi--
I also got this one - was as hilarious - I think it came from Sweet Mermaid. - Enjoy.

The Internet has brought us better educated tourists now. Folk actually seem to know a little bit about the BVI before arriving. This has saved us (the BVI tourst industry staffers) endless questions that we used to hear 1000 times a week it seems. Butjust in case you STILL have questions, I got answers
Where does the sun set? (in the West)!
Which way is west? (where the sun is setting)
Where is the best swimming? (in the water)
Where is the best diving? (under water)
Where is the best sailing? (above water)
Where is the best place to sleep? (in bed)
Where is the best place to eat? (at a table)
Where is the best place to drink? (at a bar)
Where is the best beach (neer the water)
Is the sand coarse or fine? (of course? It is fine!) - tickoticko
Why are the all the boats pointed in the same direction in each harbor? (we like things neat and tidey)
Which is the best charter comany? (the one with boats)
If you are interviewing a captair for your boat, ask s/he
Do you know where the reef are?
If s/he answers Yes (s/he is lying)
if s/he answers NO, (They are truthful)
I s/he answers No, but I know where they AREN'T, hire 'em right away!

More sailing questions asnwered for you:
What is a cockpit? (a place to drink)
What is a galley? (a place to make drinkgs)
What is a galley slave? (the bartender)
What is an ice box? (that thing with lukewarm beers in it)
What is a head? ( a place to deposit drinks when finished)

What is a stateroom? (that teene closet like space ith some foam padding to lay on after too many drinks)
How do you tell port from starboard? (Port is that red stuff in a bottle, starboard is the right side of the boat, if you are facing forward)
What is a boom? (that horizontal pole thing that slaps you in the head and goes BOOM!)

What is a dinghy? (that little boat behind the big boat, we/ve trained it to follow us around)
How do you start an outboard? (pull the cord, while ripping out shoulder and muttering curses)
What are the oars for? (in case you want everyone within 2 miles, to hear your cursing all the way to shore)

Should we leave the sails up while on a mooring or anchored? (only if you have very good insurance)
Will one anchor be sufficient? (only if you have very good insurance)
Should we use two anchors at night? (yes, if you plan to sleep and/or don't have very good insurance)

What is a hanging locker? (that teeny slender cabinet with two coat hangers for you to store two weeks of clothes in)
What is a boat shower? (about a half gallon)
How do you tell private boats from charter boats? (private boats have too much junk on board, charter boats have too many people on obard)

How do you tell tourists from locals? (the tourists dress funny, the locals talk funny)

How do youtell a tourist from a traveler? ( a traveler brings one small carryon or one small backpack and uses mosteverything during their visit, a tourist brings over half his or her belonging from his beloved home, in large heavy assorted suitcases and bags, then uses about 1/10th of it during their visit)

Do the wind and sails tip the boat? (Yes, but only YOU can tip the crew!)

Last edited by Administrator; 08/30/2005 04:35 PM.

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