Paradise Island – Atlantis Resort: Sink, Sank, Sunk (or should we say Stunk?)<br><br> Paradise Island - Atlantis has a lot of eye candy in terms of water exhibits and architecture, but sadly this candy is only a sugar coating for a lot of hype with little substance. Perhaps I should have realized there was a problem when our transport to a purported upscale hotel squeezed some 19 people into a tiny van like sardines. Perhaps the clue phone should have hit when Guest Services tried to get us involved in a Time Share sales pitch within an hour of our arrival, or when a lunch sandwich cost $15. But being someone who tends to give a place a fair shake, my family and I went into wait and see mode. Unfortunately waiting only made matters worse.<br><br> After having saved for a very long time for what was supposed to be a dream vacation, our dream rapidly turned into a nightmare. In brief, here are just a few of the other problems we encountered first hand (and several reported to us again and again by other guests who were likewise disappointed if not down-right irate with the situation):<br><br>· Uninformed Employees: On one very simple question about a walking tour of Atlantis we were told once that they left every fifteen minutes, another time that they only left twice a day, and the third time that they were no longer an offered service. Additionally, when giving directions very few employees could tell you how to get from “here to there” in the straightest possible line. <br><br>· Layout: The resort is not made for elderly, people with any type of handicap or for younger children. Everything meanders and it is often quite a hike to the nearest restaurant<br><br>· Leak in our Bathroom Ceiling: At four am on our first day we were awoken to the sound of pouring water from the ceiling. It took four phone calls and an unpleasant meeting with the hotel manager that night to get the situation repaired.<br><br>· No indoor Activities: Should it rain, get prepared to either gamble or watch rented movies in your room. There are no indoor pools, pinball machines, etc. for those days when weather or wind strike.<br><br>· Teen Cub & Movie Theater were only open Thursday, Friday and Saturdays in the night, meaning teens had no place to go the rest of the week (returning to the indoor activity problem). Movies were rarely appropriate for children, and teen club had a cover charge even for hotel guests.<br><br>· Live Entertainment: Where? What entertainment? In six days I saw ONE steel band near the beach<br><br>· Sporting Equipment and Sports Center – both required fees even to hotel guests (as did the spa – no free gym, hot tub, sauna, yet for what we paid for this trip we could have bought our own hot tub!)<br><br>· Ice machines not marked (one had to hunt behind the maid’s gear to find them)<br><br>· No restaurants that serve early morning breakfast for guests with early flights or other plans (specifically no restaurants that accept their own prepaid meal plan). Speaking of which<br><br>· Meal Plan: First of all I had to BEG to get reservations at reasonable hours in the restaurants that accepted the “gourmet” meal plan, and secondly they add on a mandatory 15% tip even if the service sucks. But for the Marketplace restaurant and one decent steak at Fathoms – don’t eat at the resort. Go into town, save money, and get better food. By the way, our meal plan didn’t even bother to include the little café in the lobby of the hotel in which we were actually STAYING and it took us asking for information to get anyone to review the particulars of the plan with us.<br><br>· Restaurant Facilities: NONE of the restaurants have in-café toilet facilities. You have to go outside, around the corner, down a hall if you or your children need to relieve yourselves!<br><br>· Restaurants Continued: Few of the restaurants offered a true “kids” menu with portions suited to them, not to mention not offering any crayons or other diversions. Heck at least a McDonalds you get a toy for under $3.00 whereas even a hotdog ran $5.00.<br><br>· Pools: did not open till 10 or 11 am and then if you forget to get your towels back to the attendants by 5 pm they will charge you $25 each.<br><br>· Tours: The discounted tour coupons you receive from the Atlantis reservation desk are for truly shoddy services. For example, for a mere $65 per adult you can go on a lush blue lagoon cruise. This “lush” experience begins with a boat that has broken chairs, and includes a lunch that could have been made by the local homeless shelter. Some deal…<br><br>· First Aid stations – I never saw ONE anywhere. <br><br>· Rooms: There are only a very few places that can take families of 5, meaning you’re stuck renting two rooms when one could easily do. They actually have a policy against more than four in a room. While the rooms are large and airy, we did not receive soap etc. one morning and had to request it special the next day. Additionally unless you request the bed be made up fresh, they do not change any sheets. While this is done under the guise of being ecologically friendly – it strikes me more as lazy and cheap.<br><br>· Not Kid Friendly: Unless the weather is good there is little, if anything for children to do. Oh, yes, there’s the discovery kids camp at a whopping $40 for four hours. When we took our children, half their facilities were not working – computers were down, etc. so the kids basically played tag and other games (as my seven year old stated plainly – boring!)<br><br><br>Do I seem bitter – you bet. At $2,000 a day for a family of five I expected five star service and can barely rate what I received as passable for a Motel 6! Save your money folks<br>[Linked Image]