This was our second nude cruise. The first was last year and we enjoyed it so much we immediately booked another.

A couple of things first!

If you’ve ever skinny dipped, worked on an allover tan or done housework naked you know how good it feels. Only the prudent, modest, puritan, conservative and dogmatic confuse nudity with blatant sexuality. They’re two different things and when God started humanity the Divine preference was clothing wasn’t necessary.

What we’ve learned as we meet people as they are. There are no pretentious airs but rather a here I am, just as I am, accept me or not and I’ll treat you the same.

As a result we’ve met the nicest, most wonderful people who are lifelong friends.

Sure you might encounter “swingers” or perverts, especially if your spouse is as beautiful as mine but they’re easily rebuffed, slithering away never to be encountered again.

It’s a wonderful, exhilarating experience to be outside with others in the way that God intended in the Garden of Eden.

Here’s our story.

Setting Sail 2/9/14 Port Everglades

The Nieuw Amsterdam is a lovely boat and I think a significant improvement over Carnival’s Freedom. Both have their good points but this is one lovely boat with 1,000 less people so it doesn’t feel as claustrophobic! Then again the 2013 Bare Necessities cruise was about setting a record (3000 nude people)!

• The check in was a breeze, our room … a veranda suite (an upgrade) was simply delightful!

• The food options are excellent, diverse and the service is quick.

• The entertainment is wonderful with special
features (like the Virginia Monologues) through there is only one comedy show and no Karaoke opportunities (like last year).

Within an hour of checking in we hook up with friends from last year and the Bon Voyage party is terrific! Until the girl took her clothes off while we were still leaving port.

A wild (and sexual dance) broke out and the Bare Necessities staff handled it quickly and professionally.

Two miles later, everyone’s clothes came off.

There’s nothing quite like a warm moonlit ocean, feeling the salty breeze caress your body surrounded by good people having a good time!

Sarah and I hooked up Tim and Jess from last year and we told stories as we prepare for this year’s adventure!

Dinner was in the Manhattan themed dining room and I can’t say enough good things about the very high end food, service and décor of experience. It is far better than any other ship side culinary experience.

Afterwards we hit the dance floor, taking in “Sarah & the Hall Cats” before ending in the Piano Bar!

Somewhere just south of midnight we fall into bed while sailing to the Bahamas.

Half Moon Cay 2/10

Sarah sleeps late while Tim, Jess and I hook up for morning coffee.

On the Lido deck, the restaurant stations are located between two spacious pools, one with a retractable roof. We found the options and the food were of higher quality than last years’ experience.

Because of recent health problems on other cruise ships, the Nieuw Amsterdam provided absolutely NO SELF SERVICE.

Even ice water was obtained through a server wearing gloves. No one was accustomed to such service but everyone appreciated the precautionary measures to ensure a great cruise experience.

Sarah woke and has breakfast with me before boarding the tender for Half Moon Cay, a private island owned and operated by Carnival Cruise lines. It is designed for a perfect beach experience for cruisers and it most every way it is.

The beach is long and beautiful!

With only 2100 cruises there was plenty of room for all on the beach. (We’d brought the kids here in August and found it beautiful but crowded then). Finding a spot in front of the Shipwreck Bar, we set up “Camp Sunshine” for the day, which provided the following highlights.

• After obtaining the first drink of the day from the bar, I find Sarah and Jess waist deep in the ocean throwing colorful corn starch in the air and on each other while being photographed by a professional who is covering the trip for a national Nudist publication. It’s quite fun watching them have a blast! Releases are signed and we’ll see what happens next.

• There is nothing as unforgettable as watching a first time Nude snorkeler put on a mask with snorkel in mouth, a life vest with a strap running between her legs and with fins on her feet attempting to walk across the beach to the water. It takes her ten minutes to high step march the short walk. By the time the fins hit the water she was soaked with sweat and too tired to swim and she rips everything off and storms away from the large audience she had amassed.

• A photographer for a British Naturalist Publication is soon snapping pictures of Tim & Jess and then Sarah and me in the water. Sarah is singled out for single shots rising from the ocean with water dripping from her body.
It’s pretty hot watching my wife morph into a model! Releases are signed and again, we’ll see what happens next.

• A group photo shoot was organized by Bare Necessities by famed environmentalist artist Jack Gescheidt and perhaps 300 Nude people “oozed” from the sea to trees on the beach as though reaching for life. It was fun.

The only bad thing about Half Moon Cay is the food. I don’t know how you screw up grilled burgers, dogs, ribs, chicken and fish but … it was terrible in August and may have gotten worse since then. While the grills were churning out food in front of us everything was cold when it hit our plates (again no self service). We actually threw ours away opting to eat something good back on the ship.

Someone explains that laxatives are included in the meat on Half Moon Cay to make the island’s limited plumbing run smoother. That may be and it would also explain why the food sucks so much!

Back onboard, it’s time to rest before dinner. Sarah watches a movie in our stateroom and, after a brief nap I sip wine watching the island grow smaller on the veranda.

Dinner is again in the Manhattan Dining experience and everything was terrific!

After a brief stop in the Casino we were too exhausted from the day so we agreed to do it all again tomorrow.

Day at Sea 2/11

A very uneventful day at sea, full of hot sunshine, lounging by the Aft pool and telling lots of stories from the day before.

The biggest excitement is lunch.

The Nieuw Amsterdam was obviously built for a European cliental supplying silver ware to each table and a water cart rolling the aisles providing glasses and drinks.

Unfortunately, supply could not keep pace with demand.

After fixing plates of really excellent food, guests meander around searching for silverware. After eventually scoring some, they wander around looking for something to drink.

Complicating this further is the fact that each of the food
stations empty into each other so there is significant congestion.

This was the scene from noon until 1:00. Early or late diners experience none of this and had wonderful, elegant and leisurely meals.

The afternoon was more poolside lounging though Sarah was committed enough to head for the gym for a workout.

Dinner was with Tim & Jess at the elegant Tara Mind, an upscale Asian restaurant which is not included in the price. We highly recommend it as it was highly recommended to us by our friends Jenci and Patricia several weeks ago.

Elegant, with no crowds, the four of us had a magnificent dinner and conversation. The entire Bare Necessities crew dines nearby taking a break from the great work they’re doing.

A few hours later we enter the Casino where it only took a few minutes to lose our gambling money so off to bed we go.

Jamaica 2/12

Knowing we were leaving early for an excursion to “Dare to Bare’ float, Sarah ordered room service for breakfast to have before the 8:20 departure.

Breakfast never came so we ran down the gangplank with her chomping on a tiny bag of pretzels we’d brought on board and we ran to the bus.

A short 30 minute and delightful ride later, she washes the pretzels down with a Coke while I sip a Red Stripe Beer for breakfast at the registration/gift shop at Cukela River.

Twenty-two of us get out of the bus, one naked and ready, as we’re fitted for gear and meet our guides.

Before climbing into our tubes virtually everyone else loses the laundry and we spent the next hour-and-a-half floating and sliding down the beautiful, crystal clear river. We cannot say enough about our guides who were funny, musical and lifesaving on a couple of occasions.
Having never “naked” tubed, I cannot recommend it highly enough and along with the “minor” rapids through lust rain forest, it is the highlight thus far!

While beautiful, Dun’s River Falls is crowded, busy and touristy but this lazy naked float was heavenly!

At 11:40 we were dropped back at the terminal in Ochis Rio and set off for lunch. A quarter-of-a-mile later we’re feasting on jerked chicken, salt fish fritters, salad and cheese sticks at an open air, ocean side dive.

Across the beach we watch the crowd at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaretville Café but Sarah and I enjoy a quiet meal where we were the only ones talking … primarily because the “Oceanfront” offers free Wi-Fi, everyone there is communicating quietly though cyberspace.

The area around is the now normal Caribbean tourist traps but we wander around for a bit and stumble into a tiny tee-shirt shop across from the Pirates Bar. We meet Steve, a first generation Jamaican and have a pleasant half-an-hour conversation. Picking up a few things for Sarah’s girls, Steve tries to embrace me as we leave only to knock over a display on the counter … just as several couples walk inside to shop.

As I fly to catch things in mid-air, I knock over another display.

Everyone laughs and Steve hugs Sarah and I wishing us “Respect” as we left.

As we make our way, Jamaican men with long dreads jump out of buses asking, “You want some ganja mon?”

We decline by shaking our heads.

“Viagra,” he asks.

We burst into laughter again declining.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re back in our room and Sarah is fast asleep so I follow.

After waking, Brian one of the photographers from Half Moon Cay drops by to have Sarah sign release forms for publication in a British Naturalist Magazine. He’s a delightful conversationalist and we talk about the state of nude experiences and the Church!

It’s time to leave Jamaica so we stumble up to the Lido Deck for the Bon Voyage party but the main deck is crowded and claustrophobic. We head to the Aft with a delightfully thin crowd and spy Tim & Jess. Three hours later we’re still talking under an almost full moon as Jamaica sinks into the horizon.

Carrying the conversation inside, we eat before heading to the Casino. I’m out immediately but tonight Sarah is hot.

“Why don’t you go do something honey?” she says raking in piles of chips on the roulette table.

I wander into the Show Room for the comedy show. Tim & Jess soon are standing beside me. My wife is nowhere to be found.

Around 11, Sarah shows us the chips she carrying having lived to gamble another day! She’s ready for bed and scurries off to our cabin and a few minutes later I joined her.

And we slept.

Grand Cayman Island 2/13/14

Crawling out of bed in the darkness, I kiss Sarah on her sleeping head and sneak outside to make my way back to the Lido Deck. Dark purple clouds hang low over the deep blue sea. The sun slowly bubbles out of the ocean as we sail pass Cayman Island making our way to Grand Cayman.

Sipping coffee, the early morning crowd is in various stages of disrobing. Some are fully nude, others completely dressed and there’s everything imaginable in-between. As we moor off Grand Cayman, the Captain announces everyone must be clothed until we set sail. There is no dock here so the Life Boats tender us back and forth to the island. No one wants to put on clothes, especially those remaining on the boat but these are British waters and that’s the law.

Everyone complies.

It leads to interesting conversations about the popularity of Naturalism in England, which is thriving.

Tim & Jess stumble out with coffee so I join them as the ship seems to wake up in shifts. We’ve moved from the early morning coffee drinking thinkers to the I-have-to-eat-as-soon-as-I-get-up doers.

Strolling to the room, Sarah is kind-of-a-wake so I help her finish.

Then it’s upstairs for breakfast on the Lido Deck, returning to the room to get dressed and then off to the Tenders to ferry us to Georgetown, Grand Cayman. With 5 cruise ships, the Nieuw Amsterdam uses Lifeboats as Tenders. Having never ridden on a Lifeboat, we find this fascinating and fun.

The last time I was in Grand Cayman was over 25 years ago and it’s certainly changed … not for the better, though I understand a Hurricane had a lot to do with it.

Sarah find a coffee shop with free Fi-Fi and catches up on things while I wander around the strip mall that may as well be Miami. Thank God it begin to rain so Sarah and I amble into Jimmy Buffett’s Margaretville and had an FLFL (f@cking long French lunch) and settle in for people watching. In no time the place is packed and a party breaks out in spite of the rain.

As rain pours on the outside it’s a loud dance fest inside and Jimmy himself would have been proud had he seen it!

The waters are choppy when we’re tethered back to the ship but everyone is in good humor. A short while later we gather on the Aft Deck for the Bare Necessities group picture. Hundreds of nude people held each other tight and in no time at all it was over.

We find Tim & Jess again and settled in for afternoon sunshine as we set sail for Honduras. British Brian finds us so they could sign their release papers for the British publication and arranged to have dinner with us on Valentine’s Day.

After our meal, we gathered in our cabin to slather the body paint Sarah had brought and to decorate ourselves with glow sticks for the ships “Glow” party. Held in two different areas, one with a live band and the other with made up techno pop, we alternate between the two admiring the festive and imaginative use of light on the human body.

A good time is had by all and we fell into bed, still glowing from the night.

Valentine’s Day in Honduras 2/14

For some reason, the time changes today in Honduras.

The Ship’s Captain announced repeatedly last night we’d gain an hour today only to lose it tonight when we sail away back towards the States.

The way I see it, I get a whole other hour with Sarah on Valentine’s Day.

Fifteen years ago, we worked together and enjoyed each other immensely before taking an 11 year break to marry other people and live far apart.

Four years ago she returned and a love story began.
We’ve lived far more of our lives without the other and we’re very conscious about squeezing and enjoying every minute we have left.

Today we’re creating another adventure, climbing in a truck and heading to a private resort on a beautiful beach.
Just as the time has changed today, giving us the gracious gift of another hour together, we both know that our life is changing too.

For the past few years we’ve worked to enjoy our time, build our home and celebrate our marriage. These have been the priorities and anything else was much further down the list of things to do.

Just as today we’re embark on a new adventure, new opportunities are presenting themselves to us. What makes adventures exciting and memorable is they may be planned but who knows what’s going to happen?

It’s been a great life so far but the best part of it is now!

Off the coast of Central America with time we didn’t know we’d have, sharing life, embarking on things we’ve never done before, I pause to thank God for helping me to get this far in spite of my numerous missteps.

And I thank Sarah for loving me in ways that I’ve never known.

Happy Valentine’s Day Sarah!

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

Let’s all have some loving fun!
~~

And we’re off on an adventure.

Great hopes and expectations result in mismanaged beauty and mistaken executions.

Paya Bay Resort is an hour’s drive from the Cruise Terminal, the first third on a paved road but the rest on dirt roads with an abundance of potholes. The resort itself is worth the drive! An ecofriendly small restaurant, small chalets dot a mountain with beautifully sculpted walkways down to a private beach.

The first impression is wonderment and delight.

Everything else about the Cruise’ most expensive excursion falls woefully shy of what could have been.

As soon as we hit the beach, cabana boys demanded $10/person/chair. Some pay it while others of us stand our ground explaining the price is included in our $99/person ticket. Honestly, the cabana boys seemed confused and were nice enough once they understood though they happily took money from those who merely paid when asked.

The beach is a beauty and the owners did a fantastic job making the area a Zen like hidden retreat. A spacious open bar rests above the beach and the bartender was the lone delight among the staff.

Several minutes before noon, Nigerian dancers and players representing ancestors who migrated to St. Vincent’s in the Caribbean and were brought to Honduras to serve as slaves until they revolted performed. They were terrific adding a colorful splash of local history.

After an hour-and-a-half on the beach, we retreat up the Hill to the restaurant where we’re ordered to put clothes on. Fair enough if that’s the rule.

On the bus ride over our guide explained we would be served a free lunch which is included in the ticket. We were elated because we understood lunch was not provided.

True to her word, the guide was right in that a snack of grouper bites (or fish sticks as Sarah called them), cheese Cascadia and fish stew was served for free. A formal sit down lunch is available for purchase which a few opted for.

Unfortunately, before everyone had migrated from the beach to the restaurant, the guides demand we return to the busses for the trip to the Ship. This is especially sad for the couples who purchased what appeared to be fine meals with no chance to finish them.

An hour later we depart the busses with the guide and driver asking for tips. Naturalists are a gracious group and, while some refused, their hands were full of cash once everyone was done.

I should add that demand for this excursion was so popular, originally available for only 100, that Bare Necessities added an additional 100 visitors. $20,000 should buy a better experience than it did.

This is a sad marketing opportunity lost for Bare Necessities planning but especially for Paya Bay Resort.
The best marketing is word-of-mouth experience and while Bare Necessities is savvy enough to learn from its mistakes, I’m not sure any one of us would ever recommend Paya Bay Resort for much anything.

~~

Sarah and I married on the beach under a full moon so we celebrate every month when it hangs high in the sky.

Tonight it dances above the ocean as we sail under it and it happens to also be this day of love. We leave tonight to celebrate!
~~

After naps we reunited with Tim & Jess for conversation and drinks before rushing to dinner with Brian and Evelyn from Great Britain. A long meandering conversation over lobster and steak cap off the day and off to bed we stumble.

Day at Sea 2/15

There’s not a cloud in the sky, the ocean is calm and only the slightest hint of cool is in the air.

Tim’s already has chairs secured on the Aft deck when I stroll out for coffee at 7:50.

I read emails and Facebook and receive a marvelous note from the past when I glance at the clock on the bottom of the screen, yell “HOLY [censored]” and storm downstairs to wake Sarah up for the 9:00 raffle where she’d registered.

“Honey,” she says rubbing sleep from her eyes, “that’s tonight.”

“Ready for suntan lotion,” I lovingly reply.

While she takes a shower, I return to the deck chairs where Tim is waiting.

The rest of the morning is spent basking in the sunshine, working on our tans, planning the future and enjoying an emerging friendship.

It’s lazy and laid back … a perfect end to the trip.

We hit the Lido deck buffets for salad, pasta and good conversation.

Returning to our chairs, Sarah and I find a naked, drunken Cowboy sitting in them … on our towels.

Wearing a black cowboy hat, the drunken S-O-B took a last puff from his cigarette as we approach and flicks it off the deck into the ocean.

“Should we tell them about our hemophilia,” I loudly ask.

“BAA,” naked Drunken Cowboy says, sounding exactly like Swing Blade doing it with sheep.

His girlfriend eyes us through her sunglasses.

“BAA,” Jess replies, obviously understanding his language, “BAA, BAA , BAA!”

Securing new chairs and towels (no small feat), we resume our tanning when drunken naked Cowboy stands and falls on Jess’s towel and chair in an attempt to ask for a light from Linda sitting with us.

Naked Drunken Cowboy continues to be loud, obnoxious and rude, frustrating the very crowded deck of sun worshippers.

Stumbling over to a metal storage bin he sits his bare [censored] on it (which is breaking a major rule! Always sit on a towel or a wrap or something!)

If this isn’t bad enough, he’s too drunk to understand how hot the metal storage unit is on his … private parts.

A Bare Necessities staff member rushes to him with a towel and ask him to calm down.

He doesn’t so security is called.
~~

This is on the same day the incident occurs.

Jess wanders up with a letter from the Ship Captain left on the door of each passenger apologizing for the unfortunate incident.

No one knew what he was referring to though the Shop was soon buzzing with gossip.

A crew member attacked, raped and tried to kill a guest. He
was captured. She was flown to Florida for treatment.

The story grew worse each time it’s told and neither Nieuw Amsterdam nor the Bare Necessities staff provided additional information.
~~

On our last night the four of us dined at the fabulous Pinnacle Grill specializing in steak. The cost was also additional but well worth it!

Not having reservations we simply showed up, Jess took charge and within 5 minutes a fabulous meal commenced as we talked about the future and the things we wish in the coming year.

2/16 Port Everglades

Getting off the boat took far longer than getting on.
Passengers were allowed to register for an early departure.

Some did.

Most didn’t.

Every one tried to leave at the same time.

It took about an hour to clear customs and then we returned to reality… for a little while anyway.

Thanks so much for a GREAT trip report! Too bad about the problems with the excursions to Paya Bay. Unfortunately the special excursions through BN often have issues. I guess it should not be totally unexpected, since they are all 'one shot' deals and it's difficult to do anything perfectly the first and only time around.

The story regarding the attack on the passenger is a shocking one. I hope that the victim recovers.

Hi. i changed the title of this thread to more clearly differentiate it from the section which I mae it's own thread. Thanks again for such a thorough report!

Great trip report,well done

nice detailed report

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/crime/fl-cruise-ship-attack-sentenced-20150107-story.html

Looks like the assault that occurred on this nude cruise has reached a legal conclusion with the perpetrator getting 30+ years.

Such a horrible story and the victim may never recover..

Sad to hear, but not surprised about Paya Bay...we visited for a week in May-June last year, wonderful place, great food, terrific staff, run by a very nice family, that continues to have management issues with "getting it right" regarding their guests....would love to find a reason to return.... just too hit and miss for now

OK, since this seems to have become the target for spammers, will close this one here.