What you describe strikes me as strange....

During our 20+ day charters, we had a range of captains from ones that stayed on the boat during lunch to ones that joined for lunch (no drinks) to the worst, the one who seemed to make it his and his mate's mission to run up the bar and food bill as much as possible. (I learned to convey my expectations before booking the boat after two times of the last behavior)

We did our first crew charter in February and in the run up to the trip, the crew (husband and wife) communicated with us via zoom and by email with an extensive list of questions that included how much interaction we wanted with the crew. They were very professional and didn't drink during our trip. I am a drinker and the mention of a bottle of wine each at dinner while on the job raised my eyebrow.