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Re: Shape up for sailing
#535
05/22/2001 11:10 AM
05/22/2001 11:10 AM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 621 NJ
danmasi
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 621
NJ
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Wow, not much room for addition here... and my stomach<br>hurts from laughing!<br><br>35. Before dinner, fill a tall glass with water. When dinner's over, use only that water to wash the dishes with. When done, use the leftover water for showering.<br><br>36. Leave a room humidifier running in your clothes closet; and each day add 1/4 cup water mixed with 1 T salt to your underwear drawer.<br><br>37. (addendum to #23): When lighting the grill, situate a large room fan so that it blows full-blast across the coals. Use only small kitchen matches for lighting.<br><br>38. Yell "ouch!" randomly during the day and night.<br><br>39. Get an old bicycle wheel and remove the tire/tube (save it for #40, next). Mount the wheel to a pedestal and leave it centered in the main entryway, inches from the front door. To calculate how many inches, measure your thigh at its thickest part and subtract 3.<br><br>40. Leave a flat bicycle tire, car tire, and bicycle pump in the bathroom. Everytime anyone flushes, they must fully inflate the bicycle tire. "#2" buys you the car tire. For good measure, place the bicycle pump no farther than two inches from the wall or some sharp corner.<br><br>41. Have your house rewired so that the kitchen oven dial also controls the house heat.<br><br>42. Before retiring for the evening, place the following under your bed:<br> - a recording of water sloshing;<br> - a space heater;<br> - a baking pan filled with warm, fragrant motor oil.<br><br><br>-dan<br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
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