Welcome to SXM! We're in the same age group and having returned to SXM 70+ times over 31 yrs. I can tell you that we've stayed in quite a few different places. The Dutch side is more active and the French side more laid back. But, that doesn't mean dull. LOL. We prefer a more laid back atmosphere but love being near nice restaurants. We now stay in Oyster Pond area which I wouldn't recommend for 1st timers. It's quite remote and I think you need a handle on the island before being this far from action...although we do love the restaurants here. I won't tell you where to stay but rather what you might encounter. Beachside Villas is lovely but next to the airport. If anyone tells you that the planes aren't bothersome....they're wrong. Perhaps some get used to the noise but that's not what we go on vacation to hear. They're LOUD. I've stayed in the area 2x and never again. However, there are many great places to stay.....and I'd recommend La Vista, highly. Near everything and the management can't be better. Close to the 'action' if you'd like but tucked down the road.
On the French side you might like Le Village area @ Orient Bay. Lots of adorable little restaurants and condo types. Alamanda is a nice little hotel.....a couple of steps from the beach. Restaurants surrounding it so you can walk around at night and feel comfortable. And there are a couple small hotels in that area as well as some apartments.
The only way you'll know what you're getting into is by asking questions. Ask away.

<img src="http://www.traveltalkonline.com/forums/images/graemlins/handshake.gif" alt="" /> Contessa