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LGBT safety in the BVI
#259770
07/02/2021 05:24 PM
07/02/2021 05:24 PM
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Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 2
JanaeH
OP
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 2
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Hi, everyone! I’m Janae. I just joined TravelTalk today, though I’ve been lurking for a few days. I’ve been to the BVI (and St Thomas, St John, Culebra, and Vieques) once before, on a captain only cat charter nearly 15 years ago.
But that was back when I was a man—at least on the outside, anyway. I have undergone a gender transition since then, and now I present publicly as a rather femme woman.
My wife (who is also a trans woman) and I are in the very beginning stages of planning a bareboat charter for May 2023. Another lesbian couple (one trans, one not) will be coming with us.
Can anyone here speak to whether or not the BVI is transgender friendly? The other trans woman coming with us and I can fly under the radar (“pass”), but my wife often gets misgendered—mistaken for a man, called “sir,” etc. In other words, she’s visibly transgender. Will she be safe? Are people likely to be rude to her?
Same questions regarding lesbianism as well. Can two women holding hands on the beach expect to remain safe and free of verbal harassment?
Thanks so much in advance for your thoughts on this topic!
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#259775
07/02/2021 06:02 PM
07/02/2021 06:02 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 82,729 Central Florida!
Carol_Hill
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 82,729
Central Florida!
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Honestly, the BVI is not a very LGBT friendly destination. The locals are fairly religious. My suggestion is that you try a different destination. St. Maarten/St. Martin comes to mind, as a much better suggestion. Best wishes.
Carol Hill
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: Manpot]
#259786
07/02/2021 08:01 PM
07/02/2021 08:01 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 82,729 Central Florida!
Carol_Hill
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 82,729
Central Florida!
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Mal--agreed, not saying it should be that way, and most of the Caribbean is pretty homophobic, but St Maarten/St. Martin is fairly different and more accepting than most places in the Caribbean.
Carol Hill
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#259855
07/04/2021 09:42 AM
07/04/2021 09:42 AM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 583 Oak Park, IL
TomGarvey
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 583
Oak Park, IL
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Janae’s post doesn’t “scream” anything. She’s asked a straightforward question about a basic form of PDA - holding hands. I agree that many people in the BVI (and in the US, for that matter) seem to be disturbed by and intolerant of non-traditional relationships, so it is a prudent question.
Janae, I hope your travel planning goes well and that you have a great trip!
Tom Garvey
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#259871
07/04/2021 12:55 PM
07/04/2021 12:55 PM
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,901 Maine
Breeze
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,901
Maine
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The BVI is a place where all visitors need to understand that Belongers prefer modest and chaste behavior in public. Now you might get confused about that during Carnivale, Jouvier and at the Willy T on Sunday, but visitors are held to a higher standard.
Used to be, if you appeared at the Customs Office on Jost to clear in to the territory, you'd be banished back to your boat if you weren't ALL wearing collared, sleeved shirts, knee length shorts ( or long pants), fully closed shoes, no hats/caps/sunglasses and absolutely no swearing inside the building. Granted, that was never the standard around the point at White Bay, but knowing where to genuflect to native opinion in a foreign territory goes a long way to keep vacation moving forward. If you screw up, you'll know.
" The more things change, the more they remain the same."
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: calsail]
#259918
07/05/2021 10:00 AM
07/05/2021 10:00 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,557 Toronto, Ontario
gordaguy2
Traveler
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Traveler
Traveler
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,557
Toronto, Ontario
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I second Calsail - on Virgin Gorda there isn't a problem - in fact, one of our most influential locals transitioned himself.
GordaGuy2
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#259937
07/05/2021 03:02 PM
07/05/2021 03:02 PM
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,390 Ill, USA
Will_L
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,390
Ill, USA
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Indeed many of us have a roof over our heads because of that individual. It’s all about being nice to those you encounter and acting like your mother or father were watching in public. Other than that no trouble id bet everything.
Last edited by Will_L; 07/05/2021 03:11 PM.
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#260044
07/07/2021 02:31 PM
07/07/2021 02:31 PM
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Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 2
JanaeH
OP
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 2
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Thanks so much for your replies, everyone!
I love that the locals in the BVI are pretty religious. I am, too! Modest dress away from the beach is something we’d do anyway, whether it were expected or not. And we certainly would never make out in public, but we hold hands habitually without thinking about it. Or one of us will place our hand on the small of the other’s back as we hold the door for one another, that kind of thing. Sounds like we probably won’t have to worry about it too much, but we’ll be aware of our surroundings and try not to do those things if/when needed.
Delighted to hear there is a well known local on VG who has publicly transitioned!
Thanks for the offer of connecting us with LGBT-friendly skippers, Calsail, but our friend who’s coming with us has a USCG Master Near Coastal 100 ton captain’s license with a sailing endorsement, so the charter company shouldn’t require it.
We are going to forge ahead with our vacation planning. Wish we could go next year, but it’s gonna have to wait til 2023. Thanks again, y’all!
Last edited by JanaeH; 07/07/2021 02:33 PM. Reason: Typo
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Re: LGBT safety in the BVI
[Re: JanaeH]
#260079
07/08/2021 10:14 AM
07/08/2021 10:14 AM
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 850 Manhattan Beach, CA
calsail
Traveler
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Traveler
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 850
Manhattan Beach, CA
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You will have a spectacular adventure. As far as a local skipper, here is a note. We bare- boated the first 20 trips in the 80’s and 90’. We were also invited often to race Spring Regatta with some of the winning locals. We were So Cal owners/racers. Then one day we invited local racing legend Presley King to sail with us. Changed our BVI experience for the next 20 sails. We always, after that experience, invited a local skipper/friends to sail with us. Having a local aboard opens windows and doors everywhere. So keep this in mind for future trips because you will return. Also keep in mind that the BVI is the absolutely easiest bare boating territory imaginable. But why wait until 2023? Can’t wait for your report.
Last edited by calsail; 07/08/2021 10:15 AM.
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