I have not been to the island for a few years now, life has gotten in the way; ailing parents, in laws, Irma and covid.
I exist on my memories. When I think of our time spent on the island it feeds my soul, days of pure bliss.

Last month I was diagnosed with cancer and my prognosis is devastating. For little over a year and a half now I have been feeling unwell; constipation, headaches, night sweats, generally unwell. Last month when I went back to my doctor complaining of having lost ten pounds in less than two months and feeling faint after one flight of stairs it caused alarm which led to a diagnosis. Till then I had passed all blood work on my various checkups. (I also started to forget short term stuff but my doctor believed that I was suffering from debilitating anxiety because of stress of deterioration in my parents health.)

Our plan is to head to the island next month and I hope to ring in the New Year. I am no longer mentally capable of caring for my ailing family. I find myself angry most days. I try to understand that God has a plan but forty years seems unfair.

My most precious memories with my husband are of our times on SXM.

We also loved Dreams for champagne lunches.

I loved sitting at Tropical Wave watching kids splash in the water while having lunch.

Swimming at Cupecoy beach at before 7:00 am ; the shock of the cold water and the privilege of being the first one walk on the sand in the morning.

I loved getting drunk on cheap champagne while jewelry shopping in Philipsburg.
I loved breakfast drinking in general.

Returning to Tacho Macho each visit to wait too long for food and vow never to return again.

Drinking at Toppers always made me sick but loved their cocktails tasted soo good but always led to me puking and promising myself never again. Something about the rum doesn't sit well like Bacardi in my stomach.

Lunch at Rainbow in Grand Case.

Happy hour at the perch.

Every minute in st maarten felt special even cheese sandwiches and coffee for breakfast overlooking the ocean.

All our dinners at Palapa.
Breakfast at the yatch club.

Day trips to Anguilla and fun on GB Express.
Lunch at Straw Hat:


All our nights hanging out in Simpson Bay/Maho area.

Annoying the table security at Tropicana Casiono by using my husband's roulette chips when mine were lost.



I can't choose a best memory.

Thanks to TTOL for being my special place ; soul food.